MY DESTINY 💯

Chapter 44

I looked directly into Shahrukh's eyes. I was waiting for an answer, but Shahrukh had lowered his gaze. I looked at Karan, who was looking at Shahrukh with tears in his eyes. He hadn't expected the cold words of Shahrukh either. I turned around. I didn't want to show my tears to Shahrukh. I looked away and tried to swallow my pain. How could Shahrukh react in that way? Was his career more important than his happiness? I was scared when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Carefully, I turned around and looked directly into Shahrukh's eyes. Immediately I took a step back. I didn't want to be near him. Shahrukh was trying to reach my hand, but I didn't allow it either. "Kajol, please understand ... Please ..." Shahrukh spoke so softly that the tremor in his voice was evident. But his words were cold. "Kajol, I already told you ...

Flashback

The last day of filming in London, Adi invited us to a small dinner. The last weeks had been exhausting. I was beginning to enjoy the role of Simran, but every day I rebelled against this role. I couldn't understand how a young girl was so intimidated by her father. Traditions or not. She was an adult woman. That night, Gauri said goodbye to Shahrukh because he was going back to Mumbai. We left the dinner early. Shahrukh and I went for a walk and sat on a quiet bench. The night was cloudy and you could only see the moon between fog. Shahrukh was very quiet today. Apparently something was bothering him. We both look at the river and we lost ourselves in our thoughts. I had that tingling in my stomach. I couldn't control it. Again and again, when Shahrukh was close to me, I felt different. I liked. I liked more than a friend should like. But I couldn't show it. Shahrukh carefully took my hand and pulled me out of my thoughts. "Kajol?" I looked at him carefully ... "What happened to us?" I hadn't understood your question. What did you want to tell me? I was about to respond when a reporter jumped out of the bushes and took photographs. Shahrukh jumped up and removed the camera. I stood there surprised and watching the scene. When Shahrukh returned, he held the camera in his hand. "Kajol, this should never come out in the press, I fought so hard to be here, I have not sacrificed the last few years so a photo will destroy everything." His words hurt me ... Was the public opinion much more valuable? "Shahrukh, if you had to decide between career and personal life today ... what would you do? "Shahrukh didn't think much and said with icy eyes" Kajol would always choose the career ... "

Back in Goa

I would never forget his look. That icy look. He had decided. He had decided on a public life. A life in which I didn't have space. I kept looking at him until I felt that my pain had changed to anger. "Okay, do you want it that way?" Then I ask you, "Why did we make that pact in Karan's office?" For the roll of the rings, Shahrukh, I put my heart in your hands, I was willing to give up everything to finally end my life by your side." I felt my voice was getting louder and louder. Tears filled my eyes and my voice trembled with anger. I couldn't end like this. But Shahrukh didn't even react. I had that look. I knew him. There was nothing left to change his decision. I pulled out and hit his cheek with all my strength. He looked at me surprised. "Thanks for playing with me like that." I passed by his side and saw he rub his cheek. His words had broken me. I couldn't stay here. I left our bungalow and stopped at the door. How could he talk to me like that? I slipped through the door and buried my face in my legs. When suddenly I felt a soft hand on my head, I jumped and looked up. Gauri looked at me sadly. Tenderly she stroked the tears on my face and kissed my forehead. I was confused. Why did she do that? Carefully, she knelt in front of me and I heard her words that broke my heart completely. "Kajol, I know how much it hurts, I always knew that the love you feel is unique, I never tried to fight against him because it would be useless, because I knew that at some point this point would come. Shahrukh always put his career first. I have always been subordinate to that and I have supported it in everything. If Shahrukh loves is pure and from the bottom of his heart, but this love also means pain. Pain, because you will never be number one in his life. Kajol ... believe me, I know how you feel. It tears you inside and you question everything. But please believe me, it will not improve. You will always carry that pain in you. If you can live with that, I'll leave the space. But I know you're going to break up ... "Gauri's words broke my heart into a thousand pieces, I couldn't take it anymore, I jumped out and ran out of the building as fast as I could, I just wanted to leave, far from this tremendous pain in my chest.