MY DESTINY 💯

Chapter 15

After that day, Shahrukh and I had decided on a pact of silence. I had freed him with my lie. We had our movies, our worlds in which we were looking for. But we were not allowed to show it to others. We suffered the first time. We suffered because our hearts couldn't understand what our heads wanted. We were just friends.

When we started with DDLJ, Ajay made public our commitment. After our parents put pressure on us. At that time, it was no longer Kajol. I was a puppet, doing only what they expected of me. It worked but it didn't live. Shahrukh and I were looking for each other. We looked for the appearance, we looked for light touches. We find a way to live with this unfulfilled love. We become a mental unit. The shooting of DDLJ was difficult because they reflected us in the same situation. In each scene in each sentence, was Kajol and SRK. Today I think about it and I realize that we could never have played like that if we had not felt the same way.

Ajay and I develop a friendship and, in a certain sense, a love. But not a love that touched my heart. We live our lives I was the loud and shrill Kajol and he the listener and the quiet Ajay. Years passed and Karan arrived with her first film. KKHH was a turning point in our lives. Shahrukh came to my car during the shooting. "Kajol, can we talk?" He looked at me with a painful look. "What happened Shahrukh?" He took my hand and we sat down. He didn't let go of my hand. He under his gaze. I felt that it couldn't be good. "Shahrukh come and tell me please." He lifted his head and I saw those tears, I gently wiped his face. "Kajol, I want you to know about me." I looked at him inquisitively ... "Kajol, I'm going to be a father." words echoed in my head. I felt my heart stop beating. I just felt pain. What did I expect? Of course, this day had to come. Of course he had a wife. A woman with needs. I got up and turned around. I couldn't let him notice my pain. I tried to find the right words. "Shahrukh, but that's good, I'm so happy for you." Shahrukh got up and came to me. He hugged me and whispered, "No, Kajol, I feel guilty, I feel guilty every time my hands don't touch your skin, Kajol, I feel it's wrong." I turned slowly to look at him and put my fingers on his lips. "Please, Shahrukh, you love Gauri, you will become a good father, you must not torment him like that, I take him in my arms and we are left there crying.

When Karan planned Anjali's wedding after this situation, I sat in my car. I didn't find peace. I felt the sadness of Shahrukh. I saw myself as a girlfriend next to Ajay. I saw my future I saw a life that wasn't filled with the love that made me happy. When I left the mask, I already had tears in my eyes. Karan approached me and looked at me sadly. "Kajol, I know it will be your most difficult scene in your life, but please show Shahrukh that you love him too, this man will break for the love he has for you." I shook my head, I couldn't allow that. He could never know, never, the scene started and I cried, I cried when I saw it down, I cried while Salman came down the stairs, these feelings were not acting, this scene was me, Kajol Mukherjee dying for love of that man.

After the great success of KKHH, I retired. Ajay and I decided to get married. Our parents were exerting more and more pressure and I couldn't push it any further. I was about to take the final step. Meanwhile, Shahrukh had managed to control his life and Aryan was born. He became a loving and happy husband. I was glad that I had succeeded. I hadn't forgotten it. At every touch of Ajay I felt it. In each kiss I saw it. But now I had to live the lie and carry the consequence of my decision.

The day before my wedding, Shahrukh, Gauri and Aryan appeared at my mother's house. They helped with the wedding preparations. They gave me the henna painting. We dance and celebrate my farewell. I didn't lose sight of the past until Shahrukh took me to a room. "Shahrukh, what are you doing?" I was angry. If someone did see, it could cause us great problems. Shahrukh looked at me seriously. "Kajol, I ask you this only once, do you love him?" Shahrukh had completely puzzled me with this question. "Shahrukh, please let me out." He grabbed my hand and took me to a mirror. "Kajol you see a happy girlfriend ? How long are you going to live this lie? "" Shahrukh, please leave me. "I looked down." Shahrukh, I love Ajay, I'm just nervous. That's normal. "" Kajol ... "Shahrukh raised my face." Kajol give me a signal and I'll take you immediately and we'll disappear. Kajol, I love you and I will always do that. "My heart stopped, how could you tell me that? One day before the wedding ceremony, I looked at him sadly." Shahrukh, I can't give you a sign. Please, understand me. I let go and escaped. Why had he waited until today? Why hadn't he said that years before? Because right now? I couldn't. There was no turning back for me.

On the day of the wedding, Shahrukh didn't appear. I wouldn't have supported your stay. It was the worst day of my life. I sealed my destiny. I got married to forget love. To forget a Kajol who didn't trust her love. I got married because I was a coward to make a decision. I stopped living on that day. I surrendered to destiny instead of fighting against it. Now it was Mrs. Devgan. But in my heart, it would be Mrs. Khan until my death. Even if Shahrukh never knew.

Back in the day

Shahrukh, he opened his eyes and we looked deeply. He took my face and touched my lips softly. We looked at the rings that were on the desk. "Kajol, now it's our turn, and nothing and nobody will ever separate us again. Tied by his words, I put my head on his chest. "Shahrukh, I love you too and I always did."