SEVENTEEN | Imagines

Mingyu (V)

welcome to part 1/3 of my november angst drabble series, inspired by three songs respectively.

part one: smile on my face - exo (don't mess up my tempo)

Mingyu

I did it all with a smile on my face.

. . .

His memory seemed to be remarkably blurry when it came to you, the faint lines that were once your smile, the distorted murmurs that were once your laughter. As he sat alone on the bus, his heart ached with a feeling that transcended memory, but like he did whenever he felt this way, a small smile emerged wistfully on his lips.

Opening his phone to scroll through social media, his eyes searched blindly for a name he could barely recollect, a name that had been branded in his heart. But he didn't find it, it seemed that no matter how far he looked, it had been erased.

The sky was a crystalline blue, void of clouds, just like that day. Perhaps that day was the only memory that he could recall, beautifully clear and sunny. Were you always a heartbreaker?

He was so sure that you weren't. But by God, if you didn't make his heart hurt in the worst way possible, sometimes he could still feel it swimming within his chest. Shaking his head gently, Mingyu looked up to see that his stop was coming soon. He was thankful that the weather was so pleasant, that way his wait for the transfer bus wouldn't be as painful.

How wrong he was.

. . .

When he stepped off the aged vehicle that sputtered quickly away, his head was lowered and staring emptily at the cracked concrete. His hands were fiddling idly with his keys in his pocket as he made his way to the shade provided by the bus stop.

An uncomfortable feeling in his chest developed and he lifted his gaze to see another figure waiting alone at the stop, an achingly familiar figure. Your hair was still styled in the same way, and even the way you leaned gently on the bus stop sign was the same.

Mingyu couldn't decide whether to run away immediately but before he realized it, he had walked in a trance-like state right to you. Hearing the approaching footsteps, you lifted your eyes to see him standing in front of you.

His breath caught in his throat as your clear eyes met his with nothing more than a flicker of recognition in their depths. As if nothing had happened.

But, as Mingyu's lips lifted in that familiar smile, he supposed that if you could look at him that way, everything would be fine. The corners of your lips curved slightly as you walk towards him, a cloudiness and blurriness marring his vision of you. In a brief moment, you had passed him and stepped onto the bus that you had been waiting for, a strange gust of wind stirring up the fallen leaves.

When Mingyu had turned around, he could only faintly make out the disappearing trail of exhaust from the bus. With the same smile on his face, tears fell from his eyes as he stood frozen in that moment. When the tears finally stopped, all traces of you had disappeared as if whisked away naturally by the wind.

. . .

With his face buried in his hands, he felt the memories begin to surface again from the deep recesses of his heart as he sat brokenly on the bus stop bench. No matter how much he pained, it did not show on his face that was frozen in that smile.

Like he did whenever the memories came back, he would spend time sorting through them. Packaging them, running hesitant fingers through them, rearranging them before sending them off again. Looking at your beaming smile on your first anniversary, that special way that your eyes shone with happiness, and the way your hands would grasp at the hem of his sweater when the two of you kissed.

When he got to that final memory, his chest seized with a tightness that he could feel breaking his smile. Taking a shuddering breath, he opened that last item that was waiting to be placed back into the capsule. The day he let you go.

You stood there, unreachable. As a single syllable broke the silence, his strained voice asked, "Why?" Your only response was to envelop him in your arms, not able to answer his question. Hearing your silence, he realized that this was the end.

You had never felt so far away.

As you drew away from his arms, Mingyu resisted the overwhelming urge to anchor you to him. The only thing that echoed in his heart was his wish for no one to be hurt, and drawing on this, he gifted you a smile as he watched you slowly disappear. If he was going to send you off on your way, he wanted to do it with a smile on his face.

When your figure was almost unintelligible, he saw you turn around. It was then that his feelings finally betrayed him, the smile swallowed by the expression of brokenness and pain as his heart cried out. If you want me to stay, I'll stay. Just like this, I'll stay here.

. . .

Mingyu laughed sardonically, his memories of you weren't hazy. They were as clear as the skies today, your name, eyes, and everything, how could he ever forget? But as he finally lifted his head to see the night skies, those memories were once again buried in his heart and masked by the smile on his face.

a/n hopefully this was good! thought i would switch it up for fall, the season of letting go~! the next two will be inspired by: to do list - hyolyn and miss you - eric nam. feel free to check those and also this one smile on my face - exo, out!