SEVENTEEN | Imagines

S.Coups (V)

the final installment of the drabble series~!

to do list - hyolyn 

S.Coups

You glanced at the last item on your to-do list.

. . .

No one knew that the two of you broke up until your best friend mentioned his name, the weeks following the day your heart was broken reduced you to a recluse. The first few days was as if you had fallen off the face of the earth and it wasn't until three weeks later that the news was unveiled.

You knew Mingyu didn't mean it that way, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. Sobbing through your tears you hear his incredulous voice, "I can't believe it, he seemed completely fine when we would mention you in our conversations, he would even chime in occasionally."

That was when you decided that you wanted to see him for yourself. No matter how much your heart hurt.

. . .

Wrapped up in a loose sweater, you stumble tiredly into the restaurant while looking around habitually for the figure that once brought you so much warmth and happiness. Your eyes are drawn inexplicably to him, smiling and chatting with your group of friends.

You're waved over, and when you end up sitting directly across from Seungcheol, your heart sinks. Fiddling quietly with the cool metal chopsticks, your demeanor is downcast, and you don't plan on lifting your face to look at him.

As the evening wears on, your avoidance of Seungcheol becomes almost painfully obvious. You were even reluctant to turn your body in his direction, whenever someone spoke to you, you oriented yourself to completely face them.

It didn't take long for everyone to notice the tightness of your voice and the shadowed hurt in your eyes and the truth finally comes out.

"We aren't seeing each other anymore," his intimately familiar voice speaks in its usual deep resonance. "But I wish you nothing but the best."

At this you lift your eyes but seeing nothing more than the faint caring where love was in his expression, you cannot stay any longer. Standing up suddenly, you rush off without any words into a stall in the washroom.

How can you listen to me and watch me as if everything is fine?

Your eyes are wet with tears as you contemplate your suffering, at your simplest trace, I break down pathetically.

Just like this. Burying your face into your arms as you cried, you wondered if he ever truly loved you.

. . .

You still remember the day that he ended it like it was yesterday. A buzzing filled your head as soon as the words "I'm sorry, but I don't love you anymore" left his lips. Your head filled with confusion and that incessant sound that blocked off all sound, you had no idea what he had said after.

But you knew, it was over. As much as you wanted to scream and yell, beg him to stay or ask him why he was so cruel, you didn't. Beyond the pain, you could appreciate his character; breaking up might have been more painful at this time, but it saved the inevitable arguments and anger that you two would have had.

Your eyes darkened with hatred, you hated that version of him. The distant way he spoke and the detached manner he looked at you was perhaps the thing that tortured you the most. It wracked your mind with thousands of questions. Yet you knew you didn't hate him, nor did you want to forget about him, you held each memory greedily.

Because if you forgot, then it will really become like it never happened. And that was something you could not accept.

You drifted about the rest of the day, leafing blankly through a book, scribbling nonsense in your notes, making a cup of coffee that was now sitting cold in the kitchen. You busied yourself as much as you could, as long as the hollow emptiness was distracted by something else. But at the end of the day, you couldn't pretend anymore.

As you prepared for bed, you reached for the light of your lamp only for your fingers to brush against your notepad. Bringing it close to your face, you read the short list of goals you had set out for your week and upon reading get a gift for Seungcheol you angrily rip the page out. Taking the pen that you kept clipped onto the notepad, you begin scribbling things down filling it with as much as you could.

Organize pantry.

Colour code pants.

Until you get to the very last line left on the paper.

. . .

You kept yourself very busy after the two of broke up, your home was never as impeccably organized and clean. You had never slept so early, besides working your job, you stayed within the safety of your house.

If he were to ask, "Have you gotten over it?"

You would have shaken your head tiredly, and responded, "Honestly, I've been too busy after we broke up. My to-do list is filled, but don't worry, at the very end..."

Could Seungcheol even understand your feelings now? You felt like such a fool, filling your days with nothing more than drivel, but if that kept the aching emptiness at bay, that's what you would do. Lying back in your bed, you pick up the crumpled sheet of paper and gently smoothed out the bottom.

Looking at one final item that hasn't been crossed out, your chest tightens, and you close the lamp before clutching the insignificant paper to your heart. You let the weakness envelop you, and you feel hot tears running down your cheeks, but you're just so tired.

I'll do it tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow I'll let you go.

For written there, in small hesitant letters was to get over him.

. . . 

a/n woot! the angst has come to an end~ and not a moment too soon for christmas! i hope you enjoyed these but i don't think angst is my strong suit lol. 

back to fluff, more importantly, christmas fluff!! (and a request or two) ;)