There For You ( Luke Hemmings )

Chapter 21.

Jess P.o.V

I needed to talk to sombody but I didn't know who. Luke told me he loved me, but I didn't know if I felt the same way. He was was amazing and everything about him was great. He always made me smiled and I loved being with him. The problem was I didn't know if I loved him.

Did I love him?

I couldn't answer it. 

I needed to talk to someone, but who? 

I was reluctant to talk to mam, I didn't know why but I just didn't think I could talk to her about it. 

I didn't think I was close enough to Laura or Ciara to talk to them.

I wasn't going to talk to Calum or Michael.

I wanted to talk to Ashton, but he wasn't here and I needed to talk to him face-to-face.

I just needed to talk to somebody.

I was grateful that my mam had come home when she did. If she hadn't walked in the door at the exact moment she did, I don't know what would have happened. It would have been so awkward, I didn't know if I could have said it back to him

~

I heard my phone ringing. I looked at the name.

Luke <3

I stared at my phone for ages, trying to decide whether or not to answer it. I knew I couldn't ignore him, but I couldn't just talk to him as if nothing happened. He told me he loved me. That's not something I could just ignore, when I didn't know if I felt the same.

I didn't answer, I let it ring out. I ignored it. I knew he would ring back and that I couldn't avoid it forever. 

As I predicted, minutes later he rang back.

"Hi," I answered cheerfully.

"Hey, how're you?" He asked. We continued to talk for ages, acting as if nothing had changed, as if everything was same as always and I was happy that Luke didn't act differently.

We may have been acting as if everything was the same, but it wasn't and I needed to sort out my feelings.

It was like a war inside of me. 

Did I love him or not?

Did he really mean something to me or was he just a crush I got my chance with?

I kept going over these questions in my head, trying to figure out my feelings.

~

"Mam," I called out.

"Yeah," her voice travelled up the stairs

"I need to talk to you," I responded. I heard her foot steps as she climbed the stairs. I knew this conversation would be awkward, but I needed to do it. I needed to get it out of the way.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I just really need to talk to you," I sighed looking down at my bed. I felt my bed drop slightly as she sat down at the end. "How do you know if you love someone?" I asked, twiddling my thumbs, not looking at my mam. I felt so awkward and embarrassed

"I'll tell you exactly how, if you tell me why you're asking," she sighed.

"Luke told me that he loved me, but I don't know if I love him back. No body has ever told me they loved me before. The only love I know is you and... well just you. How do I know if I love him." I confessed looking up at her when I finished talking.