the kennedy's daughter

the elephant

May 30, 1982

Washington D.C

Today Kate came home, to Jack, home.

She had spent almost a week in the ICU, then a total of eight days in the step- down floor, where she stood on her own and walked with a walker after 9 days straight in the bed. After she was discharged Bobby took her home with them, because she was still in a great amount of pain from the surgery, and because of the meds she received every three hours.

It was 9:00 now and Bobby was bringing her over when she woke up and had morning meds and feeds which took 30- 45 minutes to complete depending on the amount of pain she was in. Plus Ethel had to help get her dressed and ready. It took a lot these days.

Matt was also coming over around 3 or 4, because he wanted to give her time to sleep. Plus Jack was sure Bobby and Ethel would stay awhile.

He just wanted to see his girl, Bobby said she was ready to come home and be in her own bed. And Jack was bound and determined to take care of her while she was down, like she had done for him.

Jack had been walking up and down the stairs over and over again to rebuild his strength, he had installed plenty of things in the walls that he could grip to make his way to Kate's room.

--

Just past 2:00 Bobby stumbled into the house cradling Kate, who was fast asleep gripping her uncle tightly. Jack followed Bobby into her room upstairs, while Ethel stayed downstairs. Gently he laid her down in her bed as pillows surrounded her. Then all the many instructions on how to take care of his daughter

"She doesn't wake up too too often, because of weakness and pain. When she does depending on pain levels, she'll cry. That's when you run the pain meds into her g-tube, and hold her, Ethel was pretty good at that considering she's so small now. Sometimes she'll actually wanna get up, which requires her walker, that just a btw she wants to decorate, decided that you should help with that. She gets oral meds every 3-5 hours, which good luck waking her up at 3 am, it's NOT easy. Before I leave we will have to change her dressing, which isn't going to be fun, for both parties, but for now we leave her to sleep." Bobby said starting to leave, Jack just stood there

"Jack you coming?"

"Oh, yea, I'll be down in just a minute"

"Ok" he said closing the door behind him, going back downstairs

Jack sat for a couple minutes stroking Kate's hair, before he started to leave he silently spoke

"Your home Kate" he squeezed her hand and started to walk away

Before he got to the door, a faint sound came from Kate's direction

"Daddy?"

Jack walked back over to her bed

"Yea, katie I'm here, your home"

"Daddy it hurts so much" she said starting to cry

"I know" Jack said climbing in bed with Kate

"Daddy I saw momma"

"What?" He said confused

"I saw mom, I was going to stay, but she made me come back"

"Why?"

"She said that you needed me, that everything would slowly get worst and that you would need me to help you and be there"

Jack started to cry

"Daddy how did you get up here?" She said looking up from his chest

"I've had a physical therapist coming to the house to help me be able to walk up the stairs, and make my way to your room"

"But Kate, your mother is right, from here its just going to get worst"

"I can't lose you"

"I know, but me and your uncle Bobby have already talked about it"

"Daddy..."

"When I die, you get almost everything, including the house, the rest of your moms will, the cars"

"No, you'll be fine, your going to live to see your grandkids, and to walk me down the aisle"

"I'll have grandkids?"

"Of course, Daddy! I want 1 girl and 2 boys" Jack couldn't help but smile as Kate explained her dream future

"Well at least I know I have something to look forward to"

--

That night was Jack's first time changing Kate's dressing. Needless to say she screamed, Jack cried. Now that Kate's feeds had been slowed down so much, they would start at 9 p.m and end at 10-11 a.m depending on how many times they had to be stopped.

He hooked everything up and kissed his daughter goodnight, for now he had moved back into his old room, and often used the monitor cameras he had installed so many years ago to watch her more closely.

He woke up in the middle of the night, to hear his 18 year old daughter helplessly throwing up all over herself. Her feeds had picked up speed and her newly operated on stomach couldn't take it, causing her to start to vomit everything that went in, out.

He quickly made his way into his room grabbing a bucket from beside the door, considering her room was more a fancy medical ward than an almost 19 year olds room. She continued to throw-up more and more. While Jack got her some water that would hopefully stay down.

After he got her cleaned her up, the two meet eyes.

"Kate are you in pain?"

"Yea, my chest kinda hurts, like it's tightening"

"Just try drinking your water, I'll try to go dig up your mom's tanks and her cannula, considering yours are a little small now, then we'll move you over to my room in just a minute while your sheets wash"

Once Kate was changed into one of Jack's shirts, he set up his daughter next to him. As she started to fall asleep Jack realized how much Kate actually looked like Jackie, especially now, while she was asleep in his shirt on her  mother's side of the bed, her curly, wild, blonde curls, like what Jackie used to have, her feeds running from the poles, and the tank close to her head. It was just like old times.

"Katie I'll be right back, I'm going to put your sheets in the washer, just try to go to sleep"

"Ok, Hey Daddy?"

"Yea?"

"Will you please get my grey elephant out of my room and bring it to me?"

"Yea, sure"

He stripped the sheets, putting them into the washer. On the way back to his room, he walked back into Kate's room, knowing where the elephant was immediately.

He remembered the night before all this happened, he clutched that stuffed animal tightly. He gripped to it trying to find hope that nothing bad would happen to his sweet, giggly girl.

And just like he did all those years ago in the White House, he gripped it, and walked back to where his daughter was fast asleep again, he placed the stuffed animal close to her face, and just kinda watched her sleep peacefully.

When she slept it was like nothing could come against her, she was peaceful and joyful while she slept, this was almost the only time where she wasn't in pain.

"Goodnight Kate" he kissed his daughter on the forehead and moved closer to her as he started to drift to sleep.