blackpink oneshots

she keeps me grounded || chaelisa

The one where Lisa has ADHD and Chaeyoung keeps her still.

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Lisa is like a buoy, floats and floats and sways away. Constantly in motion, drifting from place to place, mind always jumping around.

It's a lot better this way, she thinks. With the icky crawly feeling of air particles and waves of gravity holding her down and keeping her still. It's better than the sleepiness lull of nothing droning on inside her head, like a metronome click click clicking away, reminding her of every breath she takes, every cell in her, dying and being born over and over and over again.

The pills give her little windows of twitches, like her energy is cursing along her veins, pulsing through her medication, a cry against the keep still, don't move being bore down upon her.

So she forgets to pack her pills, tells her mom she's taking them every day. It's a lie, because Lisa can't even remember ever being still, not at all, she shifts her eyes, drums her fingers, kicks her legs out. Her mouth moves a mile a minute. She's free, it's free, running around and bringing disaster with her, never stopping, just going and going, trying to get to a burn out, but never getting close to it.

The other girls always look tired, after hours and days of rehearsals and interviews and interacting with people. And Lisa, well Lisa thrives on that. Has a bouncing knee and shifty eyes, talks about everything and anything, a blur of energy on the fuzzy picture of too tired and I need a break.

Sometimes Lisa lays in her bed and can hear the other girls sleeping and she thinks it's unfair. How easy it is for them to ground themselves, stay still, let their minds switch off and rest.

Her sleep is fickle, feverish and unsatisfying. She wishes she could call her mum and ask her to mail her pills. But those are only on the bad nights. When her leg twitches and her arms spasm out and sleep never comes.

She drifts, she coasts around and she can't focus, can't pay attention, gets bored too easy. Jisoo tries to sit her down, hold her against the chair to pay attention Lisa, quit moving.

But it's hard, Lisa's body has no idea what still is. Has no idea how to do that without pills.

It's not a problem, Lisa's been living with her ADHD for what seems forever. She can still remember the tests she had to take, the first time she was called into the nurse to take her first dose in school. The way she felt hot and sticky afterwards. Slow and heavy like molasses on a hot day.

Now all she feels is this rush. Of excitement and nervousness and energy trying to burst out of her skin like sunshine through curtains.

Chaeyoung calls her sunshine, her little ray of sun. Lights up every time Lisa walks into the room and just starts moving. So it's easy. To reach out an let all her words spill out to Chaeyoung.

To ask for help. To make her an anchor.

She's sweaty when it happens, done with the dance routine for their next live show. And Chaeyoung looks at her from the wall of mirrors, blonde hair lopsided in its bun, clothes sweaty.

"What's up?" Chaeyoung says after a beat, takes a drink from her water bottle and offers some of it to Lisa, eyes flickering at Jennie's head of curls ducking out of the room.

"I..." Lisa starts, pinches her clothes away from her, looks all over the room, counts the corners and starts over, "I can't stop moving," she says, taps her foot out as if in emphasis, as if she can control her body.

"Really," Chaeyoung frowns, "I'm exhausted," she mutters, as if all of Lisa's energy is a blessing.

"Yeah," Lisa says, "yeah I need something to like..." she licks her lips, "something to like hold me down."