POSPHENOUS

Phosphenous - I've missed yiu for so long

I've missed you for so long now that the happy person I once was with you seems almost like a dream...

At first it was agonizing, every day felt like I couldn't possibly make it through without you... But what's worse is that now the sadness has somehow become "normal"... like I no longer remember how to be any other way than this; Like I no longer know how to feel anything else but pain.

I don't know how to not think of you and feel an ache in my chest. Every sad song I listen to seems to be about the way we are now and the distance between us-and every happy song reminds me of how we used to be and how close we once were. I can't remember the last time something made me laugh and I didn't think to myself that I wanted to share it with you later only to realize that I can't because you're gone. And try as I might, I still can't imagine a future without you in it, even though so much time has now passed that I am effectively living in that future-whether I picture it or not.

I just can't stop missing you.. no matter how much time passes... no matter what I do. And the worst part is ...

I'm afraid I never will.

- Ranata Suzuki