Accidents

Chapter 65

Damon's P.O.V

The anger that is inside me is still stirring and tearing me apart. I lost it when his name slipped out of my mouth and I don't doubt that'll happen again. His name spits fire through my veins and I don't trust myself around him. I don't want to constantly be having to be killing people in my life, after everything that happened with Bla-

"Are you going to think about it?" Mia's calm and steady voice cuts me off my thoughts, she sounds like shes afraid to ask me this question.

Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions but I don't like the idea of her being scared of me. Yeah, I can be a fucking dick and lose my shit sometimes but i don't mean to. I'm so fucking lucky to have her to deal and help with me and my shit but it still bothers me of how she talks to me like I'm damaged. i fucking hate when people feel bad for me or think lower of me. I'm not a fucking kid anymore, I don't even feel bad for myself. Maybe a little. Besides all that, I like how she sometimes yells at me, I know that sounds fucked up, but knowing someone cares about your well being feels pretty good, especially when i didn't experience that "parenthood rule" shit; where if they have limits of dumbass behaviours, it was just me being reckless every single day that I'd grow tired of it but if one thing pisses me off I go back to making mistakes, it's like Mia said "angry people do stupid things".

Carter reminds me of myself a lot when I was a kid, still in my teens though. I would steal, lie and hurt people because I just didn't give a shit. At first it felt good until it finally happens to you, i was the definition of karma's bitch when my brother died.

I want to learn from my mistakes but it's so fucking hard when a waste of piece of shit tries to fuck it up for you, but that's where it comes to my girl. Mia is the only thing that keeps me going. She always wants what's best for me and right now, I need her to try to change my fucking mind before I get myself killed or even do something stupid and maybe get myself in more trouble, I need her to yell at me.

She opens her mouth like she wants to say something but I cut her off by flatly answering "No." She shudders from my harsh response and makes that face again; her bottom lip sticks out as a pout and her eyebrows cup together. Fuck.

I shift away from her and turn the key to start the engine of the car.

When I drive onto the highway road, I glance at Mia who is zoning out. She's doing this annoying thing with her leg where she keeps shaking it.

I grab her bare soft leg and hold it still, she looks at me flushed with her bright pink cheeks.

I stare back at the road and continue to drive and think about things that calm me down...like Mia..and my face buried in between her thighs. Her thighs..my hand is still placed onto her leg and I can't help but grip on them harder. I can feel myself growing and I shift awkwardly, hoping she doesn't see the bulge of my pants getting tighter. Fuck. That was a bad fucking idea. Now I can barely drive probably.

"Please don't go," Mia finally speaks.

About perfect fucking time.

"I have-"

"That isn't true, you don't have to," she says cutting me off too fast.

I don't have to? I don't fucking have to? She has no clue what she's fucking talking about.

"Yes I do!" I yell much louder than I expected.

The space in my car seems smaller than it was just seconds ago from her the little breaths that escape her parted mouth while her widened eyes are attached to mine.