Accidents

Chapter 99

Mia's POV

When I walk up the staircase, I find even more beautiful art pieces. I find one of snow falling from a branch with a wooden bench that has a tiny lady reading a book on it. The paint blends in with the whole painting so well making it look like I'm looking out through a window.

I can feel something towering over me standing still right behind me. And I can feel that warm familiar feeling I'm getting right now. That quiet but so calming feeling. That protected relief. I wish I knew the word for it.

"What're you doing here?" i ask him. Damon.

But he doesn't respond, making me have to turn to face him.

When I turn around i find him staring at the painting drinking out of a bottle.

Whatever happened to me feeling so calm? I hope he isn't too drunk. He doesn't look so drunk thankfully, mostly because he looks so handsome either way.

His expression is..unpleasant, like he's not happy about something or he's bothered by everything. It looks like he got into a fight. Oh god, it's so bad that it makes me want to pry to ask if he's okay. His eye is bruised as well as the small cut on his lower lip. He doesn't seem happy at all or do i question myself that that is just how he seems to look like since I met him.

He just blankly looks past me at that now stupid painting. It's only stupid now because im getting a little angry that he hasn't said anything but I can't be angry at him because im...scared. He isn't himself and it scares me.

I need to stay as calm as possible about these things. Especially around Damon. I'm strong.

"Hi," i say.

He only looks at me and takes another swig of his bottle. His eyes are suddenly so intense that my shoulder is starting to feel heavy.

"Damon we need to talk,"

"I don't want to talk," he says flatly and fast.

"But I do-"

"Because it's all about you,"

"Damon please-"

"You fucking left me,"

"I would never leave you, i needed time Damon,"

"You never thought of how I would feel about that?" His voice cracks as he raises his deep voice at me that probably downstairs can hear by now. "That was my baby too," he points his finger towards me making me step back a little. His wording and slurs make me realize he's completely drunk. But fortunately not the type to do anything redicule for no intentions. But seeing him this way still makes me crumble and feel lower than I already am.

My eyes start to glaze around with water. "I-I know-" my voice sounds almost inaudible.

"I needed you. You knew you needed me-we needed each other at our worst. But now I'm over the line of 'worse' I'm loosing my mind, because of you. If we were together I wouldn't have been like this. I fucking relied on you because i trusted you,"

Needed, trusted, relied. It's all hitting me at once because he's saying as if it's in past tense, does he not need me anymore? Does he not trust me right now? Does he not want to rely on me again?

"Damon im sorry you feel that way-" the water won't stop pouring from my eyes. "I know now i need you more than ever. I know that sounds hypocritical. It's like whenever I'm around you i could never think clearly to realize how much I need you, that i push you instead and as selfish as that already is i needed you to keep needing me, chasing me," i grasp for a breath, "I need you more than ever-"

"I don't need you anymore mia," his voice cracks. His words breaking me. His eyes red and glossy but madness filled with both of them. "Like you said yourself, us wont work,"

A part of me wishes he's only saying this because he's angry.

"I didn't mean that Damon. I didn't even know what I was saying or even doing. I was scared. I want us to work, I believe we can,"

He takes a moment before looking at me. Shooting his eyes into mine. "I don't,"

I grab onto both of his inked hands, wrapping my finger intertwined with his. "Yes you do, tell me you do,"

His eyes get glossier and I can tell I'm bothering him or making him feel this different way. It's like he keeps pulling back even though he doesn't want to.

He rips his hand out of mine. "You mean nothing to me. You hurt me-no one hurted me like this before, not ever. You left me when you told me you wouldn't leave." His voice rises again.

I'm sobbing completely now because he's right. I let him down even if it seemed like i was protecting myself.

"I'm so sorry," is all that leaves my mouth because of how much I'm crying.

I can tell he doesn't want to see me crying anymore when he keeps looking away from me.

"I dont need you, i never really did. I wanted you,"

I suddenly freeze and look up at him in shock and confused, the last bit of tears still streaming down my cheek.

"What? You thought I came here for you to pity me? I came back for sex. All along i thought I needed you," his voice starts to become whispers, "not only did you so easily let me finger you," he smirks, "I fucked so many girls each night like you never existed,"

I feel an uncomfortable shift and knock my back into the painting. I feel shameful for even letting him do these things to me. His drunken state is something I despise so much because he can get out of hand and so cruel to where it seems like he doesn't care about anything but himself.

"We're not anything anymore. So don't make me catch you making it seem that way," He walks off leaving me completely lost.