The Factionless: Females

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Abnegation - Austin Hawke

We're visiting the Factionless.

She won't look at me.

I'm not sure which bothers me more.

My sister is more  than twenty feet away from me and she won't even glance my way. Maybe  she has let me go the way I'm supposed to let her go. I can't do it. I'm  missing a part of me, Austin or Aidan or whoever we've decided she is.  And my heart aches for its other half. Now that I see myself in grey  while she's in black and white, it's so much harder...

What did they teach  us? Think about others. Turn our sorrows into energy and use it to help  others. Project outward until you forget what's inside you. Until you  forget how badly you're hurt. I take a deep breath before opening my  eyes and looking around.

There are women  standing outside a building with cans, cans of food that will serve as a  meal for everyone here. I can't look away from it; the measy cans that  serve as their meals distract me from everything else. We take so much  for granted...

"Excuse me!" I raise  my voice a little, just a little, so that's it's loud enough to be  heard the women with the cans. They look over at me, one of them smiling  a little and the other scowling.

I take the smile as  an invitation to join them, though I hope I'm not imposing. I hope  they'll let me help. That's all I want to do, help. Help and forget the  things that are bothering me. It's all I can think to do. And it's what  I'm expected to do.

"Hello. Would you  like some help with cooking or cleaning or anything?" I smile timidly at  them as I stand a few feet away, my gaze dropping to my hands as I  stand there. It'd be selfish to be any louder than I am.
"We don't  need your help, Stiff." The nickname feels like a punch to the gut, I  actually flinch like the woman hit me when she speaks.

"Of course we do, Jenny.  There's always things that need to be done and we could use another  pair of hands." The other woman has a cheery voice and a mega-watt smile  as she nudges the other woman, Jenny's, arm.

I feel almost sick  to my stomach because of the insult, though I've used it more than once  myself it hurts when you belong to the people you're dismissing. But I  try not to let it show as I smile politely at them and nod. I don't want  to see selfish but not being eager to help out.

They look at  eachother before leading me inside the haphazard looking house. A long  time ago I would've been worried about it collapsing on me but it looks  safer on the inside. This is where somebody lives, it's not okay for me  to be so critical when they have next to nothing. I wish I had something  to give to them, anything.

"You're just in time to help us with dinner, thank you."

"It's just cans, you don't need to thank her..."

The two women don't  seem to be in agreement when it comes to anything but it's  understandable. They look similar, sisters. And sisters argue a lot. I  wonder if there's anything behind it but it'd be curious to ask and I'm  not supposed to be curious. It's just a sister thing.

They lead me into  the kitchen, talking quietly to themselves and looking at me every once  and a while. I don't mind, though my face heats up a little. I pretend  not to notice it and instead start to open cans for them.The smell of  canned food isn't pleasant and it doesn't take me back in my memories  but I pretend it does.

"So who exactly are  you, miss?" Jenny asks with a raise of her dark eyebrows as she rolls  out sheets of flat dough that must be premade bread. These things only  go to the Factionless...

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