Letters Never to be Sent: Samuel Schilling

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Scrambled eggs  didn't look as appetizing as they typically did. And that was saying a  lot, considering scrambled eggs have always been one of my least  favorite foods. I almost had to force the bacon down my throat. I really  wasn't hungry for anything right now. There was something unappetizing  about the stench of burning bodies in the room, and two more corpses  decorating the ground.

It was odd. I didn't  expect Theo to ever die here. He had always stuck so close to the  shadows, and stayed away from everyone else, it seemed much more likely  that he was the killer than just an ordinary dinner guest. Then  Cassanova, who was practically Theo's exact opposite, was lying next to  him. They had died within hours of each other.

I looked around the  table at the few of us who remained alive. Isaac and Lucy sat next to  each other. The only common bond the two had was their job, but I  supposed that any bond was an important one at this point. Melina and I  had almost nothing and common, and she was the person I trusted most at  this table right now. Even though Jamie wasn't drinking anymore, I  didn't trust him at all. Isaac and Lucy seemed like they'd do just about  anything for a good story. I felt like I should trust Cecily, but the  fact that we had hardly found any clues and she was a criminologist made  me think less of her. Yet I had absolutely no suspicion of Melina.  Maybe that was because she was possibly carrying my child.

I wish I had told  Theresa. Now it was probably too late to mention anything to her. It  would be a miracle if I got out of here alive, and it was probably the  same thing with Melina. Even if she was carrying my baby, the secret  would die with us. It was something I couldn't bear to think of. There  were plenty of girls at our high school who didn't know their fathers,  either that or their fathers were dead or in jail. Most of them didn't  turn out very well.

I suddenly stood up  from the table, pushing my eggs over to Melina, and walked over to the  study. I grabbed a notebook, one that wasn't stained with the  Inspector's blood, and several pens. I never knew when one might run out  of ink, or not even work at all. I had one in my pocket when I came  here; I always did in case I got some sort of important call. It wasn't  there anymore, and part of me wondered if someone pickpocketed it.

I walked back into  the dining room, tore out a sheet of paper, found a pen that worked, and  put the rest at the center of the table. I didn't want to go back to  the study again, and maybe someone else would find use in them too.

'Dear  Theresa,; I wrote, unsure of how else to start my letter. 'I doubt I'm  going to make it home. I'm sorry I was such an idiot. I knew I shouldn't  have come in the first place, although I should have told you why I was  coming here. I guess I'll go straight to the point instead of rambling  on about it. I might not have much time left to write this, and I don't  want to hide it from you any longer. In one of my business trips to  Vegas, a client and I went to a bar. I was trying to get him drunk, so  that it would be easier to convince him to buy from us. I know it's a  cheap move, but I had to do it. I was going to get a promotion, and it  would have kept you from going back to work. You said you wanted to stay  at home with Ryan, and I was trying to let you. I got him drunk, but  unfortunately I got drunk too. The bartender wouldn't let me just buy  him drinks. I don't remember much from that night, although I'm sure  that I didn't end up making the sale. Either that, or my boss is a lying  jerk. Actually, it's probably both.'

I stopped writing.  Did I really want to tell Theresa? I didn't want to ruin the image of me  that she had. There would be no way for me to make up for it either. I  would be dead. But it was better to be honest I decided.

'The next  morning I found out I had slept with a girl I'd met at the bar. I don't  know who she was, and I haven't made contact with her since. The host  was supposed to know who that woman was, and I wanted to make sure that  she wasn't pregnant or anything. I think I know who the woman is.  There's a girl about the right age who's pregnant here. She said the  father left, although I haven't had the heart to ask anything else. Her  name is Melina, short for something I can't spell or pronounce, and I  think you'd like her. It isn't her fault I did what I did. I just had to  let you know, in case I didn't make it out of here alive. I love you  Theresa. I know it's not enough anymore, and I wish I could have said it  more. Please be happy, remarry if you want. You're the best thing  that's ever happened to me, and this experience has been the most  painful thing I've ever gone through. Tell Ryan that his daddy loves  him, and will always be there for him, no matter what happens. Remember  to cut his waffles into squares, and hopefully you can figure out the  right amount of syrup. I hope I can get out of here alive, but if not,  goodbye.

'Love, Sammy.'

I folded up the paper, and set it under my placemat. Hopefully they'd find it someday.

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