Epiphany/Man in the Mirror: Females

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District One: Phalene Papillon

Fabron and I were all  that remained of the Careers. The faces in the sky, just shown a few  minutes ago, proved that. Josie was dead. Fabron was alive. Small  mercies.

    I hadn't noticed it  earlier, but all of the mirrors that were hit by the lasers had bent  weirdly. They almost looked like funhouse mirrors. I wouldn't be  surprised if they were meant to look that way, to go with the whole  carnival theme. I walked over to one. I figured I didn't have anything  better to do. The two axes I was holding were useless if I couldn't find  any tributes.

    I didn't like what I  saw in the mirror. It was bent so that my reflection looked shorter and  fatter. I didn't necessarily look short, or fat, but I looked a little  too far, or a little too short. I didn't like what I saw. I wondered if  this was how most of the girls back home saw themselves. It was no  wonder some of the girls trained for so long, and tried to eat as little  as possible.

   I notice another  change in the mirror. My clothes looked different. I didn't think any  funhouse mirror had the ability to do that. Then again, I hadn't exactly  been to many carnivals. They treated the animals there so cruelly.  Humans weren't treated so great either.

   I walked over to the  next mirror, one that had miraculously survived unharmed. I still looked  a little different. My hair was styled like it was in the Interviews, I  had tons of makeup on, and I had a sash and crown on. It was just like  the sash and crown the Victor always wore.

    "Have we met before?" The girl in the mirror asked me.

    "I don't know." I  responded. "You're me, and I'm you. Just you are from the future. So I  guess you have met me, but I haven't met you."

    "Oh gosh, you sound  like one of those District Three nerds." Mirror Me responded. We both  laughed. "You're a damn fool for volunteering, you know."

    "I know." I sighed. "I don't think it would be so hard. But I win right? That's why I am talking to you."

    "You know the  Gamemakers Phalene. It's not a guarantee for you. Gosh, there are more  technicalities here than there are for my Victory Tour." Mirror Me  laughed.

    We both paused for a  minute, unsure of what to say. "What's it like? Winning you know. Is it  all they made it out to be?" I asked.

    Mirror Me hesitated.  "It's hard. If you win, everyone you care about in the arena is going  to die. There'll be backstabbing and the Gamemakers are freaking  insane."

    "I never got why we Careers alway trusted each other." I said. "It sucks to be alone though."

    Mirror Me laughed.  "We both did. But I guess the Careers depend on each other. I wouldn't  have won without them." Her eyes filled with emotion for a second.  That's when I noticed the emptiness in her features. Even when she  laughed, it was hollow and meaningless.

    "You're not me, are you?" I asked. "You're different."

    "C'mon Phalene,  you're smarter than that. Of course I'm different. I won." She joked.  "But you're always a different person after you win."

    We paused again. Shouldn't I be able to carry on a better conversation with myself?

    "It hurts so bad."  Mirror Me said suddenly. "You try to make it so it doesn't hurt. But  even if it happens fast, it hurts like hell Phalene."

    "How would you know?" I asked defensively. "You didn't die."

    "Nobody escaped unharmed." Mirror Me said. "Besides, the mental scars are worse than the physical ones."

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