Romancing Josh

19th Chapter

XIX:
Power and Image

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JOSH'S POINT OF VIEW

BAS was unusually quiet while we were on our way to my condo unit. Nasa gitna namin si Edeline na kasalukuyang tulog na tulog. She was very energetic earlier while meeting a lot of our relatives and business associates. A lot of people wanted to see her since they learned that we found Kuya Rafael's daughter. Lahat ay tuwang-tuwang makita siya and Edeline seemed to love the attention.

"Hey, are you tired?" I asked just to break the silence. Hindi kasi ako kumportable na walang nagsasalita sa loob ng kotse. Sanay ako sa kaingayan ni Bas. But he was not his usual self now.

"Medyo," tipid niyang sagot habang nakadungaw sa bintana.

I decided not to force him to open up because I knew that he would tell me what was bothering him once he was ready. The best thing I could do was to remain silent and let him think.

He remained silent until we reached my condo unit. I carried Edeline to the guest room. Pinagtulungan naming palitan siya ng pantulog. She must be dead tired kasi hindi talaga siya nagising kahit binibihisan at pinupulbusan namin siya. We made sure that she was comfortable before we turned the lights off and went out of her room.

"Good night," he murmured then he walked towards the other guest room kung saan siya natulog noon.

I suddenly remembered sleeping next to him that night and it felt so good. I lied when I said that I was already asleep kaya humiga ako sa tabi niya. I really slept beside him because I wanted to. This may sound cheesy, but I felt like there was an invicible force pulling me to him. I even secretly hugged him but it only lasted for a few seconds. I immediately pulled myself away from him because I was still in denial of my feelings for him at that time.

"Bas..." Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya.

"Yes?"

"I know you're not okay." I held his face and caressed it. "I just want you to know that this time, you don't have to go through difficult things alone. Hindi na kagaya noon ang sitwasyon mo. You have me now."
He gave me a gentle smile pero halatang pilit lang iyon. "Alam ko," mahina niyang tugon. "Hayaan mo muna akong mag-isip. Trust me, kaya ko 'to."

That's the problem. He was so used to dealing with shits on his own. He was too independent and I felt like he didn't need me. I wanted him to tell me what his problem was and allow me to make things easy for him. But how could I do that kung ayaw naman niyang sabihin sa'kin ang problema?

He'd rather deal with it on his own. He wasn't someone who would look for rescue. He believed he was strong enough to deal with difficult matters alone.

Ayoko ng gano'n. Gusto ko na matulungan ko siya. I wanted to comfort him and make him feel better and secured. I wanted to let him know that I would never leave him alone. That I would do anything to make things easy for him.

My phone suddenly rang. As much as I wanted to ignore it, I couldn't. Personal phone number ko kasi ang tinatawagan at alam ng lahat na hindi ako pumapayag na tawagan sa personal kong number unless importanteng-importante ang pakay ng tumatawag.

"I have to take this call. Matulog ka na sa kwarto mo. Gigisingin kita bukas ng umaga. Maaga tayong babalik sa Allustrea."
He simply nodded at tinalikuran na ako. When he was out of sight, I answered the call. Si Cade ang caller. Weird. He was my only cousin at matagal ko na siyang hindi nakikita. He was a famous neurologist and a successful businessman as well. He never liked being a Heraldez. He hated our family because he found our elders to be controlling and manipulative.