Chapter 74: Hayden

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Monday, 4:27 P.M.

Shopping turned into a three and a half hour long affair that honestly has us all pooped at this point. Between picking the perfect chandelier, down to finding the perfect bath mats for all of our bathrooms by theme in which we decided to decorate them- we got a lot of shopping done today.

"I almost don't even want to go out to dinner with Skylar and Ray anymore!" Harlee sighs as she lets herself fall limp back onto Mama G's living room sofa. She lets her head fall in the direction of Harper, her brows raised in question. "How about you?"

Harper falls back onto the couch too, looking back to Harlee with the same lazy demeanor before letting out a small laugh.

"We have to go, Lee." she says matter of factly. "Skylar has been waiting for you to be in town long enough to hang out for a while... and she really wants you to meet Ray!"

Harlee groans, but ultimately agrees that she'd be pretty shitty to just ditch Skylar, knowing how little time they've gotten to spend together these past couple of months.

"Hayden, you coming?" Harper asks after a few moments, turning to face me with a hopeful smile on her face. "It's nothing big! We're really just meeting at the restaurant because Skylar didn't want to have to drive all the way out here."

I start to rack my mind for acceptable excuses as to why I can't go- my mind completely unable to process trying to be normal any more than I have to today.

Mama G saves me the trouble though- walking out from the kitchen, and picking up on the conversation as if she were a part of it the whole time.

"That sounds all fine and dandy, girls- and tell Skylar I say hello!" she says approaching the large couch where we all sit with her classic Mama G demeanor. "-but Hayden is grounded for a couple of days, remember? Don't think I forgot!"

Harper's jaw immediately falls open, and her brows furrow in dislike as she throws her hands dramatically into the air. "Oh, come on!" she sighs loudly. "We aren't going to all get to go out like this until the next time Harlee is in town! That isn't"

Mama G cuts Harper off, and I'm sure to shoot her a look letting her know I'm okay with it before she gets herself into some kind of trouble, too.

"Harper Catherine!" Mama G snaps, freezing in her place to turn around and glare at her with a pointed finger. "I am sick and tired of you trying to spoil this girl into Lohan syndrome! Is that what you want for her? A wild life of sex, drugs, and alcohol just because she's a working teenager, and a bit more privileged than others her age?! I will not have it!"

Harper catches my glimpse, and seals her lips though I can see on her face that she still wants to fight for me to go with them.

"Now, does anyone else have anything to say about Hayden's grounding? Harlee?" Mama G says after a few moments, resuming her unnecessary reordering of the flowers centering her coffee table. "Hayden?"

Everyone is silent.

Harper, because she's trying to do what she gathered I wanted from the look I shot her. Harlee, because she seldom has anything to say about me, or what I do with my life. And me, because I honestly just want to go up to my room anyway and figure out a way to get my head straight.

I need to figure out what the hell to do about Jena's life, all while keeping Hayden's safe and secure.

"Alright then!" Mama G says after a few seconds of letting us sit in the silence she wanted us to know that she caused. "It's settled then! When are you girls leaving for dinner? And remember to be home by 10- we've got to be up early tomorrow to head over to the new house to start furnishing!"

Harlee and Harper both go on to explain their plans to Mama G, leaving me just enough time to slip out of the room mostly unnoticed.

The dogs are excited to see me- both Lola and Penelope scramble out of the dog room as I pass it, and follow me into mine. I can barely even pay them any mind though as I throw myself onto my bed.

I pull my phone from my purse beside me. I'm sure Tyler has texted me a billion times today asking about the baby- but I've been way too busy trying to preoccupy my mind with shopping, that I still haven't been able to convince the angry voice inside of me that I need to just let this go and trust him.

Tyler: Well, how did that
go? You know... the appt.
for the gender reveal of
the baby that came from
MY balls?
Tyler: I'm going to be
the last to find out what
we're having, obviously...
You're really THAT mad?
What did I even do??
Tyler: Hayden I will go to
your house if you don't
respond to me soon. Idec
that Harlee is there. It can
be a whole scene if you
want.
Tyler: 😑
Tyler: You can't be serious
right now, Hayd. Not even
looking at my messages
anymore? Like... did I fuck
Sophie, or are you
COMPLETELY fucking
overreacting?!

I sigh out loud, repositioning myself as I let my fingers slide across the screen to compose a short, and very impersonal message.

Hayden: It's a girl.

It's like he'd been sitting there all day just waiting for me to text him- as soon as my message reads 'sent,' Ty's status switches to Online, and his texting bubble appears.

Tyler: Aw baby!!
Another little girl!
She will be Lily's
best fucking friend,
AND sister! My heart
just melted all over
again, I'm not going
to lie to you 😍🤗
👨👩👧👧

Hayden wants to gawk at her phone like a schoolgirl, having always had a weak spot for the softer side of Ty.

Why can't I let her? Why won't something inside of me just let go already?

It's almost as if Tyler can sense my hesitation, because after a few moments of just holding my phone to my face staring with no emotion- his texting bubble appears again, and two more messages come through.

Tyler: What'd you do
all day? And why are
you still mad at me?
You never go that long
without texting me-
even on your busiest
days...
Tyler: I didn't mean to
hurt your feelings, Hayd,
but you have to meet
me somewhere on this.
I'm trying to figure it out
too!

Hayden wants to forgive him. She knows it's silly to just sit here and be so mad and spiteful over a stupid suggestion, an even stupider question, and the stupidest comment.

Especially when he's working so hard to rectify it.

But that fucking voice... it refuses to let go of this! I need to just figure out a way to shut it up.

Figure out a way to stop it from influencing Hayden's life so invasively.

Hayden: Me too

I type before I can make myself try and say something I know wouldn't make him upset. He's just going to have to deal with this until I can figure out how to shut the voice up.

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