I Don't Deserve Love: Alternate Ending

Chapter 20: Summer Discoveries

A/N Song: Diamonds by Rhianna. I do not own this song or any of the lyrics.

"We're home!" Auntie called happily to the empty apartment as we brought in our luggage. "What a great weekend! My company is doing great, we got to go shopping, you got to relax at the beach, and now we have the whole summer to spend together!"

"While you're not at work anyway," I said tiredly.

As comfy as the hotel bed had been, I hadn't been able to fall asleep last night. Just as I would begin to drift off Castiel's face would pop up and say 'The day has been pretty much wasted,' which jerked me awake. Why did he suddenly get upset? Had I given too many hints about my childhood? Had he figured it out? Did he know I was a mistake? I would ask myself and then the pattern would go again. This lead me to an endless replay of my day with Castiel and the more I remembered the more I worried. Whenever I had mentioned my parents or childhood, which had all been unintentional, Castiel had gotten a strange look in his eyes. The more I thought about that unreadable question in his steel grey eyes the more my heart would clench in fear. What if he really does know that I'm a mistake?

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Auntie asked, giving me a concerned look.

"Hmm? Oh, yah, I'm fine. The drive was just long," I replied half-heartedly and Auntie nodded slowly.

"Yes, it was. Maybe we should have waited and left tomorrow morning. It's almost 11:00."

"It's fine, we only had the room until today. I'm going to bed," I said, walking towards my room with my suitcase in tow.

"You sure you don't want a late-night snack, Opal?" Auntie called and I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry," I replied and closed my door.

With a sigh, I leaned against the door and slowly sunk down to the ground. Honestly, I had so much fun with Castiel. It felt like we were getting closer as friends... but I should have known better than to expect someone wouldn't figure out I was a mistake eventually.

I shouldn't have spent so much time with him, I berated myself. Sighing again, I got up and unpacked quickly. It didn't do me any good to dwell on it. I couldn't change what I was after all, but I selfishly hoped Castiel wouldn't tell anyone.

Before I went to bed I changed into my exercise clothes, plugged in my headphones, and began my nightly workout. I stretched, did sit-ups, then pushups. Then I went through a series of karate moves, connecting them so that I was always moving, bouncing on the balls of my feet as I kicked, punched, and dodged.

As I did a roundhouse kick the image of the purse thief flashed through my eyes and I stumbled, tripping and landing hard on my side. With shaky arms, I pushed myself up so I was sitting on my feet and placed my hands on my knees as I breathed deeply.

When I heard the woman yelling I had automatically wanted to help. I had barely thought as I planted a kick into the thief's chest, but when he tried to leave... how could I have been so forceful? I berated myself. I was sure I had broken the guy's nose. He hadn't even tried to defend himself and I had kicked him while he was down. Am I... I couldn't be... turning into my father?

Tears slowly dripped down my cheeks as I sat in the middle of my room, alone and horrified at what I had done.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"I'm home!"

I looked up from my book with a grin as Auntie walked in. "Welcome home, Auntie. Did you have a good day at work?"

"Very!" Auntie answered enthusiastically and sat on the couch next to me with an excited expression. "Opal, your summer break lasts a month, right?"

"Yes, why?"