I Don't Deserve Love: Alternate Ending

Chapter 34: Lysander's POV

"Very well done, Lysander. Now, Carol, will you please perform your monologue?"

A short girl with black hair took my spot in the center of our acting class as I returned to my seat. She began a monologue of a scorned woman declaring her hatred for a man who had wronged her and I found my mind wandering as it often did.

What did the clouds look like right now, I wondered. If I were to gaze up at their amorphous forms, what would I see? What would Kate see?

I blinked and looked around me as if someone else had whispered that into my mind. Thoughts like that had been going through my head more and more as I became better acquainted with the kind girl everyone called Opal.

The first thing I noticed about her was her voice. When she spoke her first line as Kate I had been impressed with the depth she was able to portray her feelings. Up until then, I had been reading against Mindee, who was a sweet girl, but she didn't understand the little nuances that made Shakespeare such a brilliant playwright. This girl Opal though, her Kate was unlike any I had ever heard.

Then she came to listen to Castiel and me sing. When I realized that we had an audience I felt annoyed, but then when I had seen her I realized that she was the girl who read as Kate. She had been excitable and complimentary, so unlike Shakespeare's Kate that I was stunned into silence. When I had spoken to her she had stumbled over her words in a manner I could only classify as cute. And when she had identified me as Petruchio I felt proud that she remembered my character.

The most interesting thing happened when I explained why Castiel and I played. I had only told Rosalya and Leigh that I played with Castiel because I love music and not because I wanted to start a new band. They had both encouraged me to get my talent out to the world, which I knew was them trying to be supportive of me... However, when I said that same thing to Opal she smiled the most delicate and understanding smile I had ever seen in my life. I felt like she understood me completely and supported my decision because it was my right to make it. It had been a new experience, feeling understood.

"Lysander, do you have any critique you could give Carol?"

I looked up at Mr. Hibbard and shook my head slightly. Since I had met Opal she had changed my viewpoint on women. I realized that they weren't all nosy and overbearing, but they could be empathetic as well. Calling her Kate had seemed natural when we were in Shakespeare class together and I had noticed that she smiled differently when I called her that so it had become my pet name for her.

Slowly my mind switched from past memories to the present and a deep melancholy descended on me. I replayed the events of this morning and felt a harsh fear clench my heart again as I saw her slip on the stairs in my mind's eye.

This morning I hadn't noticed the time so I arrived at school earlier than usual. I had been on my way to Government when I heard an unfamiliar clacking sound. As I rounded the corner I saw Kate using crutches to climb the stairs steadily and my eyes had fallen to her ankle, which was wrapped securely with a bandage. I'd heard that she hurt herself during the race but I didn't realize how serious it was. Almost without thought, I had quickened my pace to ask after her well-being when one of her crutches slipped and they both clattered to the ground.

For a split second, I thought that she would sprout wings and lift from the earth untroubled. But instead, gravity laid claim to her and she began to fall backward. Without conscious thought, I sprinted forward and caught her in my arms just before she met the cold concrete stairs. As I wrapped my arms around her a feeling I had never experienced clutched me.

I know that I was frightened by her close call, but what was that other feeling? I wondered to myself absently.

A loud ringing cut through my thoughts and I stood up automatically, heading for the door. Kate had not seemed herself in Economics and I felt a strange need to check on her. With my notebook in hand, I walked around the entire school hoping to catch a glimpse of her long, white-blonde hair, the color of sun-kissed clouds during the dawn, to make sure she was okay. When I couldn't find her I tapped my foot in thought. I turned and walked towards the courtyard, thinking that I had most likely missed her, but I still felt an urgent desire to make sure she was okay.