I Don't Deserve Love: Alternate Ending

Chapter 65: Facing the Monster

"Don't you move from that bed, do you hear me?"

I couldn't help but chuckle as Auntie pointed a threatening finger at me. Her boss had called her enraged and in a panic because something happened to the project that Auntie was helping him with. I could hear his loud voice declaring over her cellphone's speaker that if his only competent employee couldn't come in then he was going to fire all of the other imbeciles and do everything himself. She argued vehemently with him but I finally told her that if she didn't go I would feel guilty for the rest of the year and she reluctantly told him she would come in for a few hours.

"Auntie, I already feel better. I'm nice and toasty and there are plenty of leftovers that I can warm up for dinner," I reassured her gently. Auntie scoffed and muttered under her breath a very unflattering curse on her boss. "Really, Auntie. I'll be fine," I insisted soothingly.

Auntie sighed heavily and reached down to give me a hug. I was surprised to see that she was wearing a very conservative outfit for her. Her boots only had a two-inch heel on them and her outfit was made up of black, tan, and cream, instead of her normal pop of intense color that she seemed to naturally gravitate towards. With one last kiss and reassurance that she would be back as soon as she could, she left my room. After a few seconds, I heard the front door of the apartment open and then close again.

Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was a little after 2:00 pm and after a moment's hesitation, I reached for the book that Auntie had placed on my desk next to my sun fairy statue. Absently I read through a chapter but realized that I hadn't retained anything of what I had just read. With a sigh, I set the book back down.

Feeling a little guilty, I slowly slid off the bed and stood up. My body felt a little heavy but my headache had gone away after my nap and I gently stretched my arms up and over my head. The stretch felt great and I slowly made my way out of my room toward the living room. It made me happy that Auntie was so concerned about my health, and I felt terrible for scaring her so bad, but I felt restless from spending the entire day in my bed.

After mentally battling with myself over whether I was disobeying Auntie if I went out for a quick walk, my tapping toes finally decided for me. I quickly bundled myself up in my winter clothes, not bothering to change out of my pajamas since I was just going to take a quick walk around the apartment. I blinked in surprise when I reached into my coat pocket and didn't feel my white gloves but then I remembered how I left them in Castiel's grip and shame washed over me.

With a heavy sigh I pulled out a pair of thin black mittens from the small box Auntie kept on the top shelf of the coat closet and pulled them on. After making sure that I turned off all the lights, I slipped out of the apartment and breathed in the fresh air of the beautiful day. It was sunny but a chill in the air nipped at my nose and I smiled at the beautiful snow that was covering the ground like a fluffy white blanket.

Once again promising myself that I would just walk around the perimeter of the apartment complex, I closed the door quietly behind me and locked the deadbolt. Pocketing the key I walked down past our neighbor's silent flat and towards the uncovered stairs. I was surprised to see that there wasn't any snow piled on the steps and I wondered if the complex maintenance team had come and shoveled the stairs earlier that day.

I looked up at the cloudless sky and let out a long breath into the air. Disappointment briefly filled me but then I chuckled at myself, realizing that I had been hoping to see my breath fog up in the air like it did last night.

"Winter is cold, but it really is beautiful," I said quietly to myself.

Stepping off the last step I turned to walk on the sidewalk next to the parking lot and I heard a short intake of breath. Looking up I felt myself freeze as my eyes met familiar steel grey ones that looked as shocked as I felt. Neither Castiel nor I moved as we stared at each other silently. Castiel blinked, and the brief second where his grey eyes were closed freed me from my paralysis. I felt my feet slide back and then forward as my mind raced, wondering what I was supposed to do.