I Don't Deserve Love: Alternate Ending

Chapter 60: Unexpected Reactions

After mentioning where we each liked to eat we decided to get in line for some breaded chicken sandwiches. Castiel ordered a large of some waffle-style french fries and at his insistence that a sandwich wasn't enough for a meal I ordered a cup of coleslaw. We carried our trays over to an empty table and I opened my coleslaw happily. For the first half of the meal neither of us spoke, focusing more on our food than the need for conversation. Castiel finished his sandwich before I even got through half of mine and I felt him watching me as I continued to eat.

"Hey, Opal," he said, prompting me to look up at him as I chewed my most recent bite of sandwich. "Did Lysander tell you how he feels?"

Instinctively I gasped, inhaling my partially chewed bite, and began to cough. Castiel jumped up and started patting my back as I held a hand over my mouth, coughing while trying not to spew out my food everywhere. After a few moments, I got my breathing under control and swallowed with difficulty before reaching for my water cup. I sucked on the straw desperately, both to ease my stinging throat and to give me time to figure out how I was supposed to answer his question. After asking me for the thirteenth time if I was okay and having me nod in response he reluctantly sat back down and leaned his eyes in one of his hands.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked like that," he apologized sincerely. 

I shook my head, putting down my water cup and wiping the tears that had slipped out during my coughing fit.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to react like that," I said miserably, rubbing my throat and awkwardly looking to the side. "Did... did he..." I trailed off awkwardly, not sure what I was even trying to ask.

"I know the song he wrote was about you," Castiel stated. My eyes widened and I looked over at him as fear bubbled up through my insides. "I don't know what prompted him to write it, and he never told me who the angel was, but I just... Knew it was you," he said while looking at me with guarded eyes. 

I reached out for my water cup again, leaning back in my chair and looking away from him as I wondered what I should say.

"During the performance, you left halfway through our song. Then after we finished Lysander said he was going to look for you... I asked him when he came back what happened and he said if I wanted to know, I should ask you," he explained and I couldn't help but smile sadly.

Lysander is so courteous, I thought sadly and reluctantly I looked up at Castiel.

"He... didn't tell me his feelings per se," I said haltingly, lowering my water cup to my lap and twisting it between my hands nervously. "He misunderstood something and thought I needed to be protected, but I told him I do not need any protection."

Castiel regarded me with a blank expression and I chewed my inner lip, hoping that he would let it go at that vague explanation.

"So do you like him?" Castiel asked and I blinked in surprise over at him.

"Well, yes. I was really grateful when he said we could stay as friends," I answered hesitantly but Castiel frowned.

"Wait, you told him you just wanted to be friends?" he asked and I chuckled nervously.

"Actually he tried to ask me about something I couldn't tell him so I said I would understand if we couldn't be friends anymore. But he said he would pretend nothing had happened and we could stay as friends," I admitted in a low voice, not meeting Castiel's gaze.

"What was he asking about?" Castiel inquired and I flinched, clenching my hands around my nearly empty water cup.

"Uhh," I stuttered lamely, searching for something I could say.