I Don't Deserve Love: Alternate Ending

Chapter 58: Splintered Numbness

The next morning my eyes were swollen from crying so much the day before and my brain felt muddled and foggy from the inner battle I'd had with my father's voice. Not even bothering to look at the clock, I halfheartedly moved the blankets so I could get out of bed. My throat felt scratchy and I stumbled a little as I walked across my room towards the door. I stepped over my phone that I hadn't touched since dropping it last night and made my way to the kitchen. The thought of food right now made my stomach roll uncomfortably, but I had a small headache starting to build so I knew I needed to eat something.

Auntie was already awake and had made me a waffle with blackberry syrup poured generously over it. She perked up when she saw me and I tried to smile at her while I grabbed my cup of water.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" she asked and again I forced a smile.

"I'm alright. How are you?" I asked while cutting a square of the waffle off and tried to enjoy the sweetness without feelings of guilt.

"I'm perfectly fine. Your Father may be physically stronger than me, but I'm much smarter," she said in a conspiratorial tone while throwing me a wink.

I chuckled as I knew she was hoping I would, but the numbness from yesterday was setting in again and I mainly just listened to Auntie tell me about her hectic work. The concern behind Auntie's eyes was obvious but for some reason, I couldn't react to it. Even though I knew Father said I could stay here, the idea that he could tell me to come back had never crossed my mind before, and that new reality was making me slowly shut down.

Somehow I managed to finish the waffle Auntie made for me and I laboriously made my way back to my room to get changed. Even though the apartment was heated my bare legs felt cold so I pulled on some soft purple pants and a cozy knit turtleneck. Once I was changed I braided my hair to the side and went back out into the living room.

Auntie waved me away when I tried to help her clean up breakfast so I went into the living room and curled up on the couch. I leaned my head against the armrest and wondered absently if I should get up and grab a blanket. A loud knock interrupted my lazy train of thought and I blinked in surprise, looking towards the door.

"Is that Castiel?" Auntie asked and I closed my eyes and let out a groan. I completely forgot about going to the mall, I moaned to myself just as Auntie called loudly, "Come in, Castiel! The door's unlocked!" 

Before I could gather my wits to protest the front door opened and my eyes widened as Castiel stepped in and closed the door behind him.

"It's snowing out there!" he said to the apartment in general as he brushed off the powdery snowflakes on his shoulders and reached up to brush them from his hair. Instead of his normal nearly shoulder-length thin hair with bangs that covered his eyebrows, it had been cut back drastically to only inches long and he had spiked up the front part of his hair in a chaotic yet somehow masculine style. Castiel glanced around him, obviously searching for me. When he met my eyes he smirked in a superior way, placing a fist against his hip.

"Cat got your tongue, Ghosty?" he asked with amusement. I blinked at him, trying to push through the numbness that was slowly encasing my brain.

"I like your haircut," I heard myself saying, and Castiel blinked then grinned haughtily.

"Well, look who's being honest with herself," he said teasingly. I didn't have the energy to respond though and just blinked up at him. Auntie came into the room just as Castiel's grin turned into a confused frown.

"It's nice to see you again, Castiel," Auntie said kindly. 

He offered his hand to her, which she shook with a small smile, arching one of her delicate eyebrows up.