I Don't Deserve Love: Alternate Ending

Chapter 38: I'll Take Care of You

I do not own the song "Wherever You Are" or anything like that

"Are you awake?" I whispered as I knelt next to Castiel's motionless form.

He opened his eyes slowly and turned to look at me. Castiel stared at me without answering and I took the cloth off his forehead and re-soaked it, wiping his face once more. He didn't complain, which made me slightly worried.

"I brought you some soup, and I'm making you some porridge for later. Can you sit up a little and I'll feed you?"

He continued to stare at me and I felt my cheeks warm up. I cleared my throat and looked down at my lap, clasping my fingers together awkwardly.

"You don't have to feed me," Castiel said softly and I looked up at him.

He pushed himself up with a groan so he was leaning against the arm of the couch. I lifted the bowl up and he reached for the spoon. I was alarmed at how much his hand was shaking though and pulled the spoon away from him.

"I don't want you to spill. Let me do it," I urged, ladling a small amount of soup on the spoon.

"Fine," Castiel sighed. I brought the spoon up to his mouth and as the soup hit his mouth he grimaced, swallowing hard.

"What? What's wrong?"

"It's hot," he mumbled and I blinked in surprise.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought I let it cool down long enough."

"Just blow on it a bit before you give it to me," he muttered and his cheeks flushed brighter.

I reached up and straightened the cloth on his forehead while thinking that he needed to take his medicine before his fever got any worse. Carefully I scooped another spoonful of soup and blew on it gently before bringing it to Castiel; he sipped it and nodded. I had only fed him a third of the bowl when he said he was done.

"Are you sure? You should really eat all of it."

"Don't want it," he refused stubbornly and lay back down on the pillow.

"Okay," I replied with a sigh.

Putting the soup to the side, I picked up the Aspirin bottle and twisted the cap off. I slid two tablets into my hands and held them out to Castiel.

"Take these, they'll help," I instructed. He looked over at me and then closed his eyes.

"I don't want to move," he mumbled quietly and I blinked.

If he doesn't want to move then... My cheeks warmed up and I remembered distinctly when he had licked the ice cream off my finger at the beach. I gave him a wary look but his shallow breathing and flushed cheeks eased my discomfort. He was sick and needed to be taken care of.

"Okay. Turn your head a little towards me and open your mouth."

He did as I asked and I brought my hand with the pills over him and dropped them carefully into the side of his mouth. Reaching down I picked up the water bottle and held it to him. He took a small sip and swallowed, then he looked up at me and stared into my eyes. I blinked but found I couldn't look away. It was as if Castiel was trying to speak to me with his eyes, but I couldn't see beyond the steely gray to what he might be trying to communicate.

Brrrrinng Brrrrinng Brrrrinng I nearly jumped out of my skin when the ringing of a phone from somewhere in the house sounded loudly. I looked down at Castiel who had closed his eyes tight as if he was trying to drown out the noise.

"Does your head hurt?" I asked and he snorted weakly.

"It's about to hurt more."

Just then the phone stopped ringing and a recorded voice sang out, You've reached the Scarlatti residence! Robert and I are out of town so if you are trying to reach us give our cell's a try. Have a nice day! A high-pitched beep could be heard and then the same voice began speaking.