two doors down (e.d.)

chapter twenty-six

ethan~

i stare at the door in shock of what just happened.

"who was that?" my friend lily asks.

lily is a friend from last year who i always went to for advice, since she's a year older.

"someone who means a lot to me." i say quietly

"so," she slurs, "are you going to take me back or do i get a ride from your friend?"

she was drunk and acting insane, so i offered to take her home.

"i can take you home still." i turn to her, not wanting to leave her here under the influence.

"are you sure?" she asks

i can't help but feel mad at her, but i know that she didn't mean for riley to see everything.

i kissed her on the cheek because she calls everyone in the sophomore classes her "kids" and she's like our mom.

obviously it didn't mean anything.

the only person it ever means anything for is riley.

"let's just go." i say quickly, wanting to get her back home so i can go explain everything to riley.

i usher us out of the party and she tries to tell me to slow down, but my mind is racing too fast to comprehend anything.

"ethan!" someone calls my name and i turn my head to the sidewalk

it's wyatt.

"i f*cked up man," is all i can say

"what? how?"

"just please make sure lily gets home safely?" i plead and he looks at her.

"of course, but what's going on?"

"i need to go," i rush out, "but please take her home."

i make sure he nods his head before i start in a full on sprint race back to my dorm. 

maybe it's the adrenaline, or maybe it's because my need of riley that fuels me back to the building.

i feel stupid for getting mad at her.

i feel stupid for letting her kick me out of her dorm.

i feel stupid for not knocking again.

and i feel stupid for letting her get hurt by me.

that was never my intention.

i race up to my floor and loudly knock on riley's door.

no one answers the door, so i call out, "riley!"

i hear words being softly spoken, but i cant make them out. i also hear sniffles and harsh breathing.

my heart aches.

"riley, please." i say quieter, resting my forehead on the door.

no one answers again.

"her name is lily," i call out, trying to explain, "she's a-"

"ethan go away!" eleanor's voice yells

"please just-"

"just leave me alone, ethan."

hearing riley say those words tear me apart.

my body becomes unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to think.

i ruined this because i couldn't put my ego aside and apologize for snapping at her in the dorm.

i ruined it all.