two doors down (e.d.)

chapter forty-five

ethan~
saturday, november 22

i can't go with riley to her appointment.

i have work to do, and she said she didn't want me to go anyway.

i swing by her dorm minutes before she's supposed to leave, and lean up against the door frame.

"i'm nervous," she says, biting a nail.

i push her hand from her mouth and hold it in mine. i've learned she just can't do intimate contact, which is very fine by me.

last weekend, when she asking me, i knew she wasn't ready. but, riley is stubborn so i went with it.

"why?" i ask, "they just want to help."

"i know," she sighs, "but she's going to make me talk about personal things. i don't like opening up."

"you opened up for me?" i side eye her

she rolls her eyes, "well you're you."

"just pretend like you're talking to an old friend and just filling them in on the details of your life."

"thanks, but i don't think that's going to help."

"i tried," i sigh and hug her tightly. "good luck."

"thank you. have fun doing work."

"i'll try," i tease and she blows me a kiss as i walk away.

riley~

the office isn't what i imagined.

i pictured stone, gray, dull walls, mean receptionists, and the stench of butterscotch candy mixed with kids' tears.

instead, the walls are bright and filled with encouraging messages. kids are playing in the waiting area and the lady behind the desk is smiling brightly as she calls for appointments.

"riley, 12:00?" she asks and scans the room.

i stand up, shaking a little, and my mom rubs my back. i asked my dad not to come in case i needed to go into uncomfortable details about my life.

my mom said i might.

"i don't want you to lie," she said the night prior, fixing up my bed, "about anything. i want you to be honest with everything she asks, even if it makes you uncomfortable."

"you're scaring me." is what i replied with.

snapping back into present day, i shuffle into a spacious office that smells like eucalyptus and lavender. that's nice.

"riley," a lady says in a warm voice, "i'm dr. fuller, but please call me paige." she extends her hand and i take it hesitantly.

my mom and her whisper something as i sit in the big and chunky chairs she has in the room.

i sink down and pull my knees to my chest out of habit.

"would you like anything to drink?" paige asks as she finds a notepad from behind her desk.

a notepad that will soon be filled with things from my mind. i gulp at the thought.

"no," i say quietly, "thank you."

"i'll take a water," my mom says, which makes me smile.

she fills a paper cup with a small water machine and hands it to my mom.

"thank you."

"you're very welcome. so, riley, how are you feeling?" paige asks, turning her attention to me and sitting in the chair across from me.