two doors down (e.d.)

chapter fifty-six

riley~

it's as if i forgot how to breathe, how to move, how to feel.

ethan was my oxygen.

i don't know how much time has passed since last night. after ethan left, i crawled into my bed and sobbed until my pillow was soaking.

the hurt, oh god the hurt.

it's a lot to deal with.

and i'm not doing a very good job.

"riley?" my moms voice floats down the stairs.

i huddle into my covers even more, wishing it was ethan.

"riley," she appears at my door, but i can't bear the thought of moving to see her, "what's going on?"

"it's his birthday," i mutter, completely dazed in my own world.

"what?"

"it's his birthday."

the bed dips in and i feel a warm hand on my back.

"riley, sit up for me."

i don't budge, so she pulls my wrists until i'm looking at her.

i stare at my lap, not saying anything.

"what happened?"

i wipe my eyes, getting rid of any tear residue.

"riley, i need you to talk to me."

i tell her everything.

about his change in character, our intense break up, the meltdown i had afterward... etc.

she lets me talk, and when i'm done, she doesn't say anything.

she pulls me in for a hug and lets me cry on her shoulder. she rubs my back and my hair, which makes me more emotional, because that's what ethan does. well- did.

when i pull away, she tucks back some stray hair behind my ears and she looks sad, too.

"maybe he wasn't the one."

the words sting, like i'd been slapped.

maybe he wasn't the one.

i don't even want to think about that.

"do you want anything? lunch?"

"lunch?" i ask, confused.

"it's 1 pm..."

"n-no. i'm okay. well, i mean i'll be okay. i'm just going to lay down some more."

she nods, gives me one last hug, and heads upstairs to give me space.

ethan~

it doesn't feel like my birthday.

what it does feel like is a hollow hole in my chest where my heart is supposed to be.

last night, i walked right past grayson, who asked me what's wrong.

i didn't feel like talking.

i roll to my side and scan my room, suddenly feeling annoyed by the cleanliness of it.

riley never had a clean room.

"hey," grayson says from my doorway, "happy birthday."

"happy birthday, man." i manage out.

he sits on the end of my bed and i sit up fully.

"i got dumped." i blurt.

he nods his head, "i figured."

"it was because i'm an absolute asshole."

he smiles, "i figured."

"this isn't funny."

"i know," he sighs, "but i could tell she felt... trapped."

i look away, not wanting to look my brother in the eye.

"i think we should silk about riley tomorrow, and have a good birthday today, okay?" he offers.

i hesitate, then nod.

sadness can wait, but birthdays only come once a year.