two doors down (e.d.)

chapter twenty-three

riley~

"you don't have to do this," ethan says again, tying his shoe laces.

"will it make you more relaxed?"

"... yes."

"then yes," i turn around from the mirror, capping my mascara, "yes i do."

"don't you have a class this morning?"

"it's thursday. all my classes are night classes."

"forgot," he says almost apologetically, "but i'm freaking out."

"it's just a test," i say, placing my hands on his shaky shoulders, "how about afterwards we get smoothies? go to the gym? something fun!"

"okay," he exhales deeply, "i'd like that."

"when does your class end?"

"whenever i'm done testing, i guess." ethan shrugs

"well," i check my phone, "if we don't go now you're going to be late."

"you really want to walk to the farthest lecture hall? for me?" ethan teases as we walk out the door

"always."

i yank down the bottom of my shirt one more time, feeling really bloated today. i frown and feel embarrassed, almost.

"what's wrong?" ethan asks, noticing my uncomfortable fidgeting.

"it's nothing." i say and pull up my pants, making them even more high waisted.

"something's definitely wrong."

"nothing is wrong," i reassure him, "the only thing that should be on your mind is your test."

he nods ands the elevator ride seems to take longer today.

we start our trek across campus, but ethan starts to look pale.

"are you good?" i ask

"yeah," he breathes, "just a little hot."

"it's 50 degrees, e."

"i'm fine."

"don't pass out on me. the test is not worth it." i warn

i used to pass out a lot in stressful situations, so i know what it looks like.

"can we take a break?" ethan asks and runs his hands through his hair

"i'm calling an uber," i say and begin to order one.

to my surprise, he doesn't try to fight it.

he sits down on a big rock on the side of the street. people look at him as they go by, but he doesn't seem to notice.

i rub his back and hair as we wait for the driver.

"i'm feeling better," he looks up after a little bit, "i'm just beyond stressed. i'm not prepared for this at all."

"we could've studied last night," i say, drawing my finger in lines down his back.

"i know but i didn't want to drag you into it."

"i'm already here aren't i?" i laugh

his back shakes a little and i know he's letting out a quiet giggle.

the car pulls up and color slowly starts to return to ethan's face as we drive.

it was a 3 minute ride, but i still tip him good.

"thank you," ethan says as we walk up the lecture hall steps, "for being here."

"even though we're not dating," i smile at him, "i'll always be here."

"f*ck," he says quietly, "that hit my heart."

i turn my head to see the doors starting to close.

"ace that shit." i say confidently and poke him in the chest.

he grins and runs in before the professor locks the door.

i stare at the building for a little bit, and then kick rocks as i make my way to the library to wait.

ethan~

i can tell i'm the only one not prepared.

i'm tapping my foot and my classmates give me angry glares.

relax

it's riley's voice.

in my head.

as odd as it is, it helps me calm down.

focus.

i stare at the paper at equations that don't really make sense.

i know you know this.

i pick up my pencil again and i almost laugh at how much this feels like high school.

i work out the first problem and slowly but surely write down my answer.

good job! now we do the next one.

even when she's not with me, she's always there.