Consistent Love

Chapter 27

Ana's POV:

Waking up from the bright sun here in Portugal shinning inside the room through the gap of the curtains I groaned, sitting up and rubbing my eyes to become adjusted to the sour sense of reality and being awake. But the second in which I was sat up the memories to the goings on of last night came back to me, the memories of how my mother acted to the news which I had brought to her. Words really cannot even begin to describe the hurt as well as the ever so horrible emotions flooding through me, just the look on my mother’s face when she was to come to terms with the fact that I not only have Marco in my life but also Manuel. If I am honest with you it was easily the worst experience of my life, the disappointment upon her.

I know what I am doing is not right – juggling two men between me in Marco and Manuel – but I cannot help myself, I have two different sets of feelings and also emotions for the both of them. When it comes to Manuel I have this feeling of care for him, like I care for him in an ever so strong amount, and yes I have feelings for him but I cannot quite seem to picture my future involving him. But when it comes to Marco I get this intense feeling of happiness right inside of me, a feeling of comfort and a feeling of being loved through whatever may turn to happen in the future. Marco is my future, he is the one I want to be with now. But I now just cannot seem to bring myself to break things off with Manuel, I care too much of his feelings.

All I now want as of this moment is for my mother to try and see where I am coming from in all this, yes I know it is hard but she would not even give me the chance to explain myself to her last night. I wanted her to know why I am doing this, because I now just cannot seem to break Manuel’s heart, I know that is a ridiculous reason but what more can I sat to you? Like I said previously; I care about him, the last thing I want is to break his heart. The one thing in which I want as of right now is for my mother to be happy in finding out I am pregnant, it is supposed to be a moment which we will cherish together Not to have panned out in such a way as this by any means, she seemed more disappointed at the end of it rather than happy.

Thankfully for me I was unable to think any deeper into my thoughts as right in that second I heard the sound of the bedroom door opening, producing my mother with a plate held with her hands as I turned to focus on that direction. It was only when she was further inside the room and sat on the bed that I realised what was on the plate, French toast smothered in so much butter. “I made this for you, I thought you might be hungry considering just how long you slept in.” Smiling towards me she handed over the plate, where I thanked her just when I started to eat. “I’m just going to come right out with it.” Sighing heavily, she looked over at me still. “I’m sorry for how I acted with you last night but it came as a massive shock to me.”

“I understand.” Answering softly to my mother I finished my mouthful just before, soon to place down the slice of toast I was holding. “But I just wanted you to be happy for me mum, I wanted us to share this experience of me being pregnant in happiness. I haven’t even been able to be happy about it, and I honestly thought you’d help me with it.” Shrugging the both of my shoulders I sighed to myself, feeling myself begin to well up in tears. “I know what I’m doing is wrong mum but I can’t stop it, I can’t break things off with Manuel because I really don’t want to break his heart.” And with that tears streamed down. “My life’s a mess mum.”

The second in which those words came from me I held my head in my hands, tears still now to be streaming down my cheeks from the mess which I had gotten myself into. It really did not take long at all either until I felt my mother’s arms wrap themselves around me, holding me close to her in comfort whilst pressing soft kisses to my hair. “Oh darling, I hate seeing it when you’re like this.” Whispering softly to me she rocked us both in her arms, something in which I remember her doing when I was younger in any bad moment. “You’re just having a rough patch at the moment sweetie, things will get better I promise you.” And I looked up at her soon after. “Please don’t think I’m not over the moon for your pregnancy because I am.”