Consistent Love

Chapter 29

Ana's POV:

Two days it has been since I arrived back in Dortmund from my trip to see my family back in Portugal, two days I have been faced with the circumstances of my normal life back here yet again. And the truth is, I am absolutely hating it already. Ever since being back here I cannot even begin to tell you how I have been feeling; depressed is a word which comes to mind if I am being honest with you. Each and every little thing I do on a daily basis brings me to think over all the bad choices I have made, from stringing Manuel along to still not having enough courage to tell Marco about my pregnancy with his baby. I am a wimp yes, I know that I am.

I know I told my mother that at the first opportunity I get that I will ask to meet Manuel and tell him about everything but I just cannot bring myself to pick up my phone to him, just the thought of how much I am going to break his heart haunts me by the thought. Yes I do know I will need to do it at some point but right now, right now does not seem like the right time I should do it. He has the World Cup coming up in a little over a week now and I cannot bring myself to send him that much devastation when he has such a big tournament coming up in his football career, a tournament which I know personally Manuel has been looking forward to ever since he was called up. I cannot ruin it for him, I am such a heartless person to do so.

So I guess I will just have to wait until he is back from Brazil, with the trophy to be travelling back with him or not. I will wait for the thrill of being world champions – if that is the case – to sink in and blow over a little before I do tell him, but I know then will the only time which I can tell him on a good note. As the last thing I want to do is ruin his mood ahead of an ever so big tournament, I would never be able to forgive myself if he under-performed and for all of it to be down to me. So as soon as the World Cup is over I will ask him come round, and in then I will explain every little detail to him which he needs to know. And if after that he does not want anything to do with me I will have to let him go, I will let him live his own life again.

Anyway, turning to at least a much happier note, I stood in front of the mirror in my room to check my appearance one last and final time before I left to make the short distanced drive I needed to make to Marco’s. You see tonight is his last and final night in Dortmund before he and the team travel to play their last minute friendlies before the World Cup starts so Marco suggested to me we spend the night together, what he has planned for me I do not know by any means. But the one and only thing which I know is that he wants me to dress up, “I want you to look beautiful for me Ana” were the exact words which came from him. So here I am, stood in front of the mirror wearing the fanciest dress I could find matched with some heels.

In a way I feel as if this time spent with him may be good for me, it could well be a resource of ways to take away all the depression and upset which has built up inside of me due to the situation I am finding myself in now. Of course there is a chance that I could be thinking too much into it, but who knows? This could well be the break I need, a nice night in with Marco doing whatever it is he has planned. So with that I straightened out the dress I had on across my body, showing a wide smile upon my well-painted lips before turning on heels as right in that moment I made my way down the stairs. Taking my car keys from the side as I was over in front of the door I walked out, heading over towards my car parked across the driveway.

Once I was in the car and strapped to the seat vid my seatbelt I started the engine of it, now to be resting my foot on the clutch before carefully easing away from it and proceeding this drive ahead to Marco’s. With the sound of the music playing on a low volume by the radio I was listening to it gave me a sense of satisfaction, a feeling I have longed for recently, such a beaming smile present upon my lips whilst tapping my finger away to the music played onto the steering wheel. Just the thought of what Marco may have planned for the two of us is to give me a feeling of excitement, not being able to find comfort in my fidgety body as I drove through the dark streets of Dortmund to find Marco’s house. I just wanted to be there now.