Falling for my bestfriend; Ashton Irwin

Chapter 36

Ariana's POV

Michael is probably the only person I haven't fully broken down in front of, until now. The tears flooded out of my eyes and I couldn't stop myself, I realised I was hurting myself even more for kissing Ashton, I shouldn't have kissed him, not when he did that.

I explained everything that happened to michael, he actually understood me. "Yeah, I agree you shouldn't have kissed him but he does love you and I'm 100% sure he regrets it" I shook my head, "I can't forgive him just like that though Mikey, it hurts too much for me to just forgive and forget, I'll end up getting an anxiety attack and all of the memories will come back and knock me back down again" I sobbed and he held me tight.

"We have to go back to the interview and I'm not leaving you here so come on" he reached a hand out to me and I eventually gave in and took it, I didn't speak much on the way back, my hands were on my pocket and I was gazing at the ground, he asked me a few questions and I just replied with 'yeah' or 'no' simple answers like that.

The others had already gone back up to the stage and were talking to the fans, "I need a few minutes to settle myself down can I stay out here?" Mikey nodded before waving and going back to the others. I sat in the comfortable lounge chairs and let out a sad sounding sigh, I wiped my tears and took deep breaths.

About 10 minutes later I finally felt ready to go back out, and I did just that, I sat on my chair and luckily georgia was still next to me. I felt self conscious and anxious because everyone was staring at me, yes I just walked back in, why does everyone have to stare!.

"Ariana, how is life at home?" An interviewer asked. "Alright, I guess" I smiled. "What do you do at home?" I sighed. "Umm, clean, eat, sleep, repeat." I giggled. "What is the most embarrassing moment that's happened to you?" Another asked. "Oh wow, let's see. I was 12 and I discovered I wanted to sing, I was in a dance group at the time and some other girls in the group wanted to sing as well, we had a live concert and we performed some random song and I was putting a lot of effort into it and singing the notes and dancing but then after the song my gaze shifted around the area and I noticed calum and Ashton, it was so embarrassing for me! We had these really weird dance moves in there, I couldn't move for a few seconds. They were both laughing aswell." I glared at both of them and they burst out laughing.

"I have that on record still!" I glared at calum and my mouth hung open. "Great, delete it!!" I ordered and he laughed and high fived Ashton, I sat back in my chair and i saw a very familiar face in the audience. A judgemental face, a face I never wanted to see again as long as I lived!. Simon.

I started taking short breaths and shaking slightly, half of me feared him and the other half hated him. He abused me and called me things like 'fat whore' my self confidence was knocked straight down and I could barely cope anymore, that's when I began to speak to Ashton again, he always knew what to do.

"Ari, go sit backstage and calm down" calum motioned to the door, I nodded and went through very quickly. I sat down on the comfortable chairs again and sighed and tried to control my breathing. Ashton sat beside me and I could tell he was staring at me, my focus was on the ground still. He took my small hand in his and I stopped shaking as much, "what's wrong?" I looked up at him. "S..simon is in the crowd" I whispered. "Come here" he held his arms out and I went to him and he pulled me down on his lap with his arms secured around me.

I felt a lot better in this hug, I feel protected and I know Ashton won't let anybody come near me or hurt me. "I know I've been a dick to you and I don't deserve you anymore, but why didn't you tell everyone what happened?" I sighed and pulled away slightly. "Because it would ruin your career if everyone knew you cheated" I noticed he flinched at the word cheated. He obviously regrets it, "I don't want to ruin your career or Luke's or Michaels or Calums! I'm not that type of person ash" he smiled at me, he was going to kiss me, he was biting his lip and coming closer, at the last second we both pulled away, he apologised and we went back to the stage.