Him | Brooklyn Wyatt

I have my answer...

Rye held my head in his hands, kissing me passionately.
I wanted him. But, it wasn't right. Me and Brook had just finished. I didn't even know if I liked Rye back, did I? I was so confused. What if, once the moment was over, I regretted it? What if it was too soon? I pulled away, and looked at the floor, embarrassed. Rye didn't ask me to explain. He knew what was wrong.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, resting my head on his.

"It's ok. I understand. It's too soon." Rye said, as I moved away from him. What was wrong with me? I shouldn't have cared what Brooklyn thought, right? I shouldn't have been worried he'd get upset. But I was. I was worried. About everything...

Even though technically we weren't doing anything wrong, the guilt was all consuming.
I made my excuses and told Rye I had to leave. This time, he didn't try to stop me.

"Just please call me later, yeah?"
I nodded my head and walked out.

The cool breeze cleared my head as I began to walk. My many, many thoughts finally became understandable, I pulled out my head phones. A girl needed music to think by, I put my playlist on shuffle and began walking to the beat.

I needed my mum, she would know exactly what I needed  to do. I sped up until eventually I was running at a jog toward our apartment. I burst through the door and ran straight into my mum's arms. I broke down.

"Woah, woah, what's wrong?  Why are you crying?"

I pushed my face into her jumper, the sobs came loud and fast,
"Ryennffflovessmmeerrtoo"

"Ohhhkaaayy. I have no idea what you just said but i have a feeling pyjamas and ice cream will help. Right?"

I nodded pathetically,
"Okay then. You take yourself upstairs, wipe off the Alice Cooper eyes and then we will talk."

I dragged my pathetic self upstairs and stripped off on the way. As I wandered into the bedroom I heard my phone ringing from the landing. Without thinking I dove for it, Rye was facetiming me.
"Hey. Hi. I'm here. Hello?" I could see his face, he looked stunned and remained silent.
"Rye? Can you see me?"

He smirked slightly,
"Oh yeah. I can see you. All of you, and it's mighty fine."

"What?"

Suddenly it dawned on me, I shrieked and threw my phone on the floor. I could hear Ryan's laughter through the phone.

"Oh come on Ash. I'm a little turned on I won't lie, but I'll get over it."

I shouted in the direction of the phone,

"It's not funny Rye. Seriously. Please hang up so I can be mortified in private. Please?"

"Fine. I just wanted to make sure you were home anyway. I'll call later, make sure you have clothes on. Your boobs are awesome."

The screen clicked off, I plonked myself on the bed and held my head in my hands. I should have been really embarrassed or at least upset. To be honest I wasn't really any of those things. I didn't really care that Rye had seen me naked. It was even more confusing.

I pulled on my summer Pjs, shirts and a vest top, and made my way downstairs. Just as I hit the bottom step my phone pinged in my hand, I glanced at the screen,

Rye: I'm sorry if I upset you, I was distracted. You looked amazing 😍
But, I could tell you'd been crying. If that was anything to do with me I am so sorry Ash. Please text me at some point. If all you can offer is friendship I'm not too proud to take what I can get. Rye xxx

I could feel the tears welling up again, nobody should cry this much! I wanted to message him back, I didn't care whether or not it was right.

Me: You didn't upset me. I am just upset at myself. I'm glad you liked what you saw and I hate myself for it. I can't stop thinking about you and it's driving me crazy. I just need some time to get my head straight. Please don't message me back. I promise I'll message when I'm ready to talk 😘 xxxxx

I sauntered into the kitchen and mum passed me a tub of ice cream as I passed her. We both made our way into the living room, instead of the sofa we both sat cross legged on the big shaggy rug. I gave my mum the run down of today's events, including every tiny detail. Her face remained impassive as she look at me, her voice was low as she spoke,

"I'm just gonna be honest here and come straight out with it.
I always thought there was something between you and rye. I couldn't lit my finger on it, but I knew. How are you feeling about him right now?"

I spoke without thinking,
"I miss him already."

Mum smirked at me knowingly.
"Well then sweetheart. I think you have your answer."