Guns & Roses || (August Alsina)

19.

Quincy

"How do you feel about me" She asked.

"I mean I like you an' I care about you so that should give you an answer to what you overthinkin' about"

"It doesn't actually... Do you still have feelings for that girl? I need to know" She leaned up looking dead at me. Rubbing my hand down my face I just stared at the wall. I ain't wanna lie to her but I also didn't want to lose her. To sit here and say I didn't have a few feelings for Leo would be a lie.

I once loved that girl and I know I still do just not as much as I used to. It was more so of an I love you but I ain't and will never fuck with you again. I ain't wanna tell Carina that because I know she'll take it out of context and might fall back.

"I guess that's a yes" She bitterly laughed.

"I don't have feelings for her"

"Be honest Quincy. Stop lying to me and yourself. I can see it all in your demeanor." She got up grabbing her things then put her shoes on.
"I should have known"

"Wait, wait, wait" I stood in front of the doorway.
"Why can't we just spend time together why you askin' me this"

"Because my feelings are on the line here to not just yours. I'm way more into this then you obviously and that's never good. I can't sit here and make you build something with me when you still can't get over your ex. I'm not letting you hurt me, I'm sorry I'm not. I already went through this before. Move get your mind right" She tried to move me out the way but I wasn't moving. She was really doing too much.

"You think we not on the same page? You not more into this then I am I'm just fucked up right now. I can't give you my all until I get my shit figured out. I just can't an' that's only to spare your feelings not mine. I'm not tryna make us official yet then fuck around an' hurt you cause I'm lost an' confused. I don't wanna be wit that girl I wanna be wit you. I may still have love for her cause of Tyla an' just our past but I ain't tryna fuck wit her like that again. I'm not tryna lose you. I'm just fucked up in the head. I'm tryna figure out what imma do about Tyla so I'm forced to see that girl every time I go pick her up an' I can't stand her ass for real. Then there's you" I ranted sighing.

I need a blunt.

"I need some time alone"

"So just walk out on me? You done" I moved my face in front of hers since she kept breaking eye contact.

"I didn't say that Quincy I just need time to think. This is too much..."

"Ugh, I'm too deep in this because I fall too hard every damn time" She paced back and forth.
"Every time I meet someone it's just always something. Either it's someone from their past, someone new, or no one at all. Then I'm left feeling and looking stupid. I'm not doing this again, I can't. I already love your stupid ass bro what the fuck. Just let me go"

"Love me?" I asked surprised.

"Moveeee" She started pushing me but I grabbed her arms. Backing her into the bed I intertwined my fingers with hers.

"You love me?" I held them over top of her head.

"Why are you doing this to me"

Ignoring her I bent down and kissed her neck leading to her chest.

"Quincy"

I kept going slipping my hand in her pants and rubbing my fingers in between her already wet pearl.

"Say it again" I said creating eye contact while speeding up my pace.

"I hate you" She moaned out. Slipping my finger in her I bit the shit out of her neck causing her to slightly yelp.

"Shh. Tell me you love me"

"Fuck, I love you" She said looking away from me. I could see the sadness in her eyes and I felt so bad.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, I mean that. I'm just confused righ' now. You gotta trust me"

Biting her lip she pulled my hand out from in her pants pushing me off her.

"You... you need to figure out what you want. You can't have feelings for me and her. Until you figure that out I can't do this. This situation is all too familiar. I know the outcome" She grabbed her purse and her bag walking out. I heard the front door open and close.

Going into my bathroom I washed my hands and splash water on my face.

"Fuck" I punched the tiled wall.
"Shit" I said while examining my now throbbing hand.

"Daddy" I turned around and saw Tyla standing in my doorway rubbing her eyes.

"I'm scared"

Picking her up I kissed her face. She must have heard the noise or had a nightmare.

"It's okay I'm here. You can sleep wit me tonight"

Laying her on the bed I cut the tv on to the pre-recorded episodes of doc mcstuffin, her favorite show. Walking to the front I made sure the door was locked, put some juice in a sippy cup for Tyla, then checked the house like I did every night. It was a habit.

Going back into the room I gave it to her and turned the lights out. Everybody stressing a nigga out. I wish I ain't have to go through this shit. Looking at Tyla I watched her laugh at this show with her eyes barely open. Taking my phone out I texted her.

~ I hope you made it home okay     10:58

Rina: I did.       11:00

~ I got love for you to Rina. I want u to kno that           11:02

Rina: I just need some time. I'll talk to you later 11:03

Locking my phone I put it on my dresser. Tyla had fallen back to sleep so I turned the tv off and pull the cover on her.

I still needed that blunt.

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