Inside an Enigma (Youth Years)

Leaving North

I'm aware I start everything with "so" but just bare with me.
So some background information, I dated a kid named Zakk Reed freshman year. Long story short, he dumped me for some other chick. ANYHOW, since then, my life has been A LIVING HELL. It's been 4 years and the boy still talks about it as if it happened yesterday. I'm literally engaged and he still talks about it. HOWEVER, his friends "knew who I was" because of him, and one specifically JENNA SIMS MY GOD. (Keep in mind, this is my journal sooo all the names are real.) Jenna is... of indescribable character. I can tell she's a good friend to those she's friends with, but to me?? An absolute bully. I was dating a kid she was in love (Trent) with and she made up a lie, and broke us up... and then dated him right after. I'm pretty sure Trent was cheating the whole time buttt. You can always tell who cheated and who's the loyal one in a relationship by the breakup. The cheater is immediately dating someone new, and the loyal one stays single. Anyways. Zakk's friends at North made the environment impossible to be at. From harassing me on social media to staring me down like I was a parade float. It was not a good experience.
I didn't want to transfer back but even after I reported them to the school, they did absolutely nothing. I loved my teachers there at North. This was the email I sent them when I left.

Dear Teachers,
My most humble apologies for another novel of appreciation, but I can't exactly give everybody a raise.
I have thought in the most depth, and cannot find the right and or enough words to thank you for your devoted energy, time, thought, opinion, and services you have given me.
In a technology filled world, it seems everyday something new comes along or something has a drastic change.
New things are welcomed into an open mind, and some things never die, and for me I find thank you notes necessary- although we don't see them much anymore.
I apologize this is only an email.
For 17 years I have met many many different people, however most are just the same in different bodies.
To my fellow teachers and counselor, you are each all individually one of a kind. The world needs more people like you.
Empathy is nearly extinct, but that is all you hand out.
You hand out your time like everyone is entitled to it.
You don't use your free time to help guide people, you make free time.
I take full responsibility saying, I am one of the worst verbal communicators to walk this earth. That is why I choose to write.
I reflect back and there are many things I would have chosen to do differently being in your class/office.
I let my own fear hold me back. I was so scared all of the time.
I believe words are nothing without action, and I apologize I haven't shown any of you my thankfulness in physical action.
I could have.
Please know from the bottom of my heart, I think about walking into each of your classrooms/offices every single day.
I think about the insight and advice you have given me to grow and prosper as an individual.
You all have contributed so much into who I am now versus how I started.
You have introduced me to a new way of thinking, which is priceless.
People say to "think outside the box". I have chosen not to.
I do not think inside or outside the box. There is no box. No limits to how far you can go.
I miss talking and joking around will each of you. You all have such a special place in my heart which I cherish and carry around me always.
I may just be another student to you, but you are a huge role in my life.
The small olive branches you gave me may not have changed your world by even a morsel, but they changed my entire world.
You are all so much more than what you give off at surface level.
I have so many "thank you's" and we will get to that...
-Thank you for being patient and understanding with my classmates. It's school but we are all people with lives of our own.
-Thank you for choosing out of every carrier available, you chose teaching and instead of advancing yourself, you share your knowledge so you can watch others thrive.
-Thank you for telling students the truth and not sugar coating it like most are taught to, that is pure loyalty.
-Thank you for your love and patience throughout every class. With lives of your own, teaching the same lesson over and over, being interrupted, disrespected, you still manage to be calm and collected.
-Thank you for your willingness to be open minded and seeing students perspectives with new outlooks.
-Thank you for giving so much to the world, for such little pay. I think teachers and staff jobs should be the most paid job. You are the ones who inspire leaders. You sacrifice everything for nothing in return.
-Thank you for giving hope to the hopeless.