Inside an Enigma (Youth Years)

Thanks for the advice

Date?
I don't really know how to start.
I love criticism, but I hate hearing it.
I am my worst critic.
I notice every minute detail about myself people would never pick up on.
I am fully aware of my strengths and weaknesses, even if I don't act on them.
I know the things I need to change, are the exact things I am avoiding.
I am not saying I am a know-it-all, but I know everything about myself inside out- even if it is viewed I am clueless.
I overexpose myself.
I think I am doing the right thing, but logically I know I am not.
I try to form emotional and mental connections with people by sharing everything about my personal life.
I don't know why anybody would do that.
I like to give people a sense of peace; letting them feel not so alone.
I however have too much faith in people.
I justify toxic people with empathy.
I swim so far to where I can't swim back.
I gain confidence, then somehow it is shot down again. It's a cycle.
I am not saying I am 100% innocent and always the victim.
I know when I do things at fault.
I know where my intentions stood.
I know what the truth is.
I know I see too much potential in people.
I know my ways of doing things are wrong.
I know they are illogical and stupid.
I wish I can take them all back.
I over the years repetitively used the same tactic to form connections with people, thinking people have the same mindset.
I don't gradually evolve as a person.
I sit back one day in solitude and it all hits me.
I connect the pieces of what I'm doing wrong.
I am sorrowful of every foolish mistake I made.
I am hurt by the emotion that conflicted with my words.
I am regretful of all of the people I have hurt by trying to make these bonds.
I am no longer going to share personal information with people I do not trust.
I am not going to shut my emotion as off, but I will need to start using logic as my dominant function in my actions.
I am sorry.