Domination - Conflict (BTS | Vmin FF) Eng

Chapter 37 - Lonely Darkness

He had actually looked after him. He had seen that he was well. Jimin's wall around his heart began to crumble. This time Taehyungs didn't just tear them down carelessly. On the contrary, it seemed as if he was gently working his way up and breaking down one stone at a time. Always careful not to hurt Jimin. He cared for him.

As long as Jimin thought back there wasn't a single person who had cared for him that way. Well, almost... He had a bad memory, but Tae's voice ripped him from his thoughts.

"You should sleep" Taehyung apparently didn't want to talk to him. Jimin could not hear any feeling from his voice. But if it was his wish. He wouldn't force himself on him. On the contrary, Jimin owed him a lot. Oh yes, he got into Taehyung's guilt.

"Em... yes... I should probably do that", yet he could not penetrate to turn away from him. He just wanted to hear his voice and know him.

"Yes. night", an icy cold voice. So cold that Jimin had to swallow hard. All of a sudden the painful cold in his heart seized him again. He did not want Taehyung to turn away. Wanted to stop him. But all he did was look at him intensely.

Without even noticing, Tae just turned his head away. He ignored him. This fact hurt even more. What was wrong with him? Why was he so longing for a man's attention. The pain in his chest made him bite his lips and sigh softly. Taehyung was so calm. He had surely already fallen asleep. Jimin looked at him from behind to the smallest detail. His broad shoulders invited him to lean on them. His muscular chest to snuggle up to him. His strong arms would catch him when he fell. And this fluffy hair... how he would love to caress through it.

Very slowly and holding back he stretched out his hand. He wanted to grab him. To be close to him. But he pulled her back again. He didn't feel like touching him. It was wrong and Taehyung would certainly not like it. But what if he did? What if he liked it? What if he was more than just a toy for him? Jimin moved his palm towards Taehyung and twirled a strand of Taehyung's hair. He certainly slept so deeply that he wouldn't notice. Just one touch. Just feel close to him once. Believing that he was reachable.

"Mhm", sounded from Taehyung's throat. Shocked, Jimin drove back with his hand and opened his eyes in shock. He didn't have any... Oh please let him sleep deep enough. "Immediately his cheeks turned a light red. So he had noticed it after all. What should he do now? What if Taehyung would be angry with him? Or he just wanted to make him submissive. A stab.

If he thought he could get it into the box so easily, he was wrong. Then he would throw it away like worthless filth. He got sick.

"W... what do you mean? He had to deny it. If he admitted to distorting himself after him and coveting him... Taehyung would shamelessly use it. And then he had what he wanted. Then he was useless. It was as if one would beat him again and again into the pit of his stomach. One blow after the other.

"Then just not Ouch. Again this cold, this indifference. Jimin pull yourself together! Do not show that you desire him. That is all his trick. Probably he had done that with everyone before you, too. Also the things in the office had done with one guy after the other. Who said that all this was not part of it... Oh no, Jimin wouldn't let himself be thrown away.

"Tss. I also can't help it if you have naughty dreams" Half sulking, half injured, he turned to the other side. Why did he always think that Taehyung could even like him? Then Taehyung pulled him jerkily by his hair. Jimin screamed painfully. "Ah Taehyung that hurts. Don't do that! He was still able to suppress his grief and fear, but for how long. He wouldn't cry! He was stronger than then! No never again! Ice cold eyes met his. A stab. He hated him. Taehyung hated him so much. This cold tore Jimin apart. As if his heart was made of glass and was about to burst. It hurt so much. Jimin fought not to show any more of his vulnerability and suppressed the tears.

"Never touch my hair again! Have we understood each other? The air was pressed out of his lungs. His throat closed and he hardly got any oxygen.

"I did not! Stop imagining things", Jimin jerked instead. Show no weakness! Nobody would ever exploit his weakness again! Nobody!!!

"You're not worth it!" A stab so deep that the wound would never heal again. It hurt so much. He knew it already long ago. Of course he wasn't worth it. But to hear it from Taes mouth... This pain could hardly be put into words. Like a wounded animal he wounded himself together sadly. He was so alone on this huge planet. So lonely. Without a single human soul who loved him. But it was better! Love did not exist! He already knew that a long time ago. When had he started to believe in something like love again? Since when was he so naive and weak again? Why did Taehyung torture him so? Why did he do that to him? If he hated him so much, then he should just let him go. Then Jimin would wander around in the darkness again. Then he could lick his wounds and numb the pain as he always did. Day after day.

Mother soul alone on this cruel world.