Mine To Forget

24. Regrets

OH MY GOD! she screamed zoned out in her world.   

"What happened!?" I ask her, panicking. Aiden just left and before I know it, she was screaming at me.

OH MY GOD! she screamed again, this time looking at me. "What!?" I say because now I was scared.

"Oh my god, so Aiden turned down Madison's proposal for you!!?" She looks shocked but then she has a wicked smile on her face.

"No, no no no, he didn't! He did it for himself," I try to explain it to her and I fumble a lot because I had no worlds.

"OH god, look at you all blushing!" Stacy says looking at me. She had that perfect smile on her face and she was not angry with me but why?

"Go back to work Stacy" I threw a balloon at her. 

"You are going to the freshers with Aiden, mark my words!" She says with so much confidence that it scared me.

I chose to ignore her because I didn't want to get my expectations high and then get hurt. What Aiden and I have right now, basic civility is great. He and I go to the fundraiser together will only create more gossip and a lot of tension between Madison and me. She anyways hates me, why give her another reason. I wanna keep a low profile right now and that's my number 1 priority.

Later that night, I was almost about to pass out on my couch when I hear my doorbell ring and I knew who it was. Aiden was standing at my door wearing his jersey and his sports shorts like he was coming directly from the practice.

"Are you coming from your practices now?" I ask him, looking up and down his attire.

"Oh yeah, I just got caught up with stuff at the practices and then I was running a bit late so I decided to come straight over, I hope you don't mind though," he says.

"Uhhh, really since when do you care?" I ask him and just at the end, gave him a wink and walk past him out of the door.

I hear him scoff and give me a small laugh. 

Walking outside in the cold breeze was so relaxing and I just wanted to keep walking. I wonder what it would be like to walk on a beach. How would the water feel? How would the sky look away from city lights? And how would it feel like to have that fresh cold breeze hit your face?

"Penny for your thoughts?" asks Aiden.

"Nothing serious, just random thoughts in my head," I say.

"And what would that be?" I look at him "Come on " He nudged me

"Well, it's not a big deal but I.... was thinking about what it would feel like to walk on a beach this late? How would the water feel? And how cool the air would be and what would it smell like and feel like?" I blurt my thoughts to him.

"You have never been to a beach?" I shake my head. "Like ever?"

"No, I have never been to a beach," I say.

"Well it's the most beautiful thing ever," he says with a glow in his eyes. "It's breathtaking and you can see the stars more clearly than we do in the city but..." he looks at me. "It smells like dead fishes sometimes," he says out of nowhere and I burst into a laugh and so does he.

"That sounds amazing. Maybe one day I'll get the opportunity to just go smell the dead fish," I look at him, smiling.

He looks at me with a smile. "One day," he says.

"One day I guess."

After a long walk and a lot of talk about a lot of random things, we reach my doorstep. "This is you then," he says.

"No," I say which takes Aiden by surprise. "Huh?" was all he could say.

"Today, I am gonna drop you off at your door," I say. 

"What?" He looks at me confused.

"I know it's weird, but you know, why does it always have to be a boy to drop off a girl home?"

"So that we can make sure that you have reached home safely. It's that simple," he says. 

"And what about you guys? Who's gonna make sure  that you guys get home safe?" 

"Uh, we are guys. I am pretty sure I am safe anywhere I go," he says. "And why are we even talking about it, I am gonna always drop a lady home so there is no point discussing it. Come on now," he says. 

"Uhhh come on we stay, not even a door apart, let me do it, please," I plead.

"Uhmm, no April. I am dropping you off of your door and that's final," he says, firmly.

I knew he was not gonna back down. So I had to take the other way out. "Okay, how about we both leave each other halfway and just so you know, I am not asking you, I am telling you," I give him a proud smile.

He looks at me surprisingly. "What?" I ask him.

"I don't know, you are just something else, Collins," he says, giving me his half-cute smile. "Fine, come on," he says, and I jump in excitement.

"Yes!!!" I squeal like a little child.

"Why are you even excited?" he asks me.

I smile at him. "I honestly don't know," I say and start laughing. We walked together till we were halfway through his house.

"That's us, I guess," I say and he looks at me with a soft smile. He nods and takes a step back. I turned around to go back home when I feel my hand being held into a grip. Sparks erupt inside of me and they take me by surprise and I jump a little. I knew it was Aiden. His touch got me feeling crazy and I had all these weird yet pleasurable feelings erupting in my body.

I look at him and he then looks straight into my eyes taking my hand into his. "Uhmmm, I don't know how to say it but I wanted to ask you something but I don't know how to," he says and I just keep looking at him with curious eyes.

"I .......I wanted to ask you if you would.... go to the fundraiser with me?" He says and I release a long breath that I did not know I was holding.

"Aiden...." I say unsure about everything--him, asking me to go to the fundraiser or the fact that he said no to Madison. With all the negative thoughts in my mind, I just had a single positive one in my mind but I know that it was a bad idea no matter how much I want to say yes. I wanted to go but I know I shouldn't.

"Aiden...... I .. oh god uhmmmm. The thing is just don't get me wrong it's just complicated," I fumble to find the right words. He is looking at me confused.

"What is it?" He asks me.

"Uhmmm ... actually the thing is that apparently, you turning down Madison is a pretty big deal at school and everyone is talking about it and I don't wanna come between all of that, I am sorry but I can't," I say with guilt taking over me.

"You are not, April. You are not coming between anything. I decided to not go out with her because I didn't want to."

He looks straight into my eyes. "I wanna go with you," he whispers his eyes still looking into mine. My hands are still in his, as he comes a little closer. 

"Me too, but I can't. I am sorry. I just wanna stay low and not be the talk of the town that's the last thing I want right now. I know it's a little confusing, Aiden but I can't. I am sorry," I say and pull my hands from his warm grip, taking a step back.

He closes his eyes and sighs.

"Okay fine, as you wish," he says.

I nod and he turns around and walks back to his house and I just see him walk away.

Fuck! I am gonna regret this soo much!