Mine To Forget

31. Just trust me , please.

Since that night I kissed Aiden, I have been hiding in a cave. It's like I am too afraid to see him.

Well honestly, I am scared of confronting the guy I kissed and then asked to leave. I have tried my hardest to not see him, hear him, or be in the same proximity as him (which is kinda hard because well we are in a lot of the same classes). But I have felt a lot of holes burn on my back and I have tried to ignore that too. I have done everything. Turning back in my way to just avoid him, reaching school way before so I don't have to meet him in the driveway.

If I am being honest to myself and my feelings I am dreading this distance between him and me. Ever since he kissed me, everything I have ever felt about him has surfaced. I want to be near him. I hate when I am not. It is the most confusing feeling in the world. But just a glimpse of him makes me nervous.

I was walking back to my class, still in my thought bubble when I was suddenly pulled into a classroom. I was shocked and about to scream when a hand covered my mouth. I opened my eyes to see Aiden shushing me. I was pushed against a wall and Aiden was standing right in front of me.

"Shush, it's me." He said. He then removed his hand from my mouth slowly.

"What the hell, Aiden! You almost gave me a heart attack!" I kinda screamed at him. 

"Shush...." He again covered my mouth. I raised my eyebrows and widened my eyes at him just so he could remove his hand. "I will only let go if you promise to keep it down and not scream," he said and I nodded.

He removed his hand slowly. Looking at him made me realize the proximity we were in.

"Aiden..." His name just slipped off my tongue, looking straight into his eyes. 

"What are you doing?" I asked him with all the strength I could gather. Because suddenly my senses were losing my body. 

"I can ask you the same question, April. What are you trying to do?" He asked me looking straight into my eyes. 

"I don't know what you are saying Aiden? Let me go" I said and tried to escape but then he put his hands up against the wall, trapping me in.

I jerk my face towards him to give him in frustration but instantly regretted my action. I didn't realize that his face was now not even inches away from mine. My eyes instantly landed on his eyes making the muscles between my thighs clench.

My eyes flicked from his lips to his eyes and then again to his lips. He watched me carefully but it wasn't unnoticed, the way his eyes too slowly made their way to my lips. He did not attempt to hide the fact about what he was thinking. We were too shameless to look away or to back out now. Because we both know what we want. The urge of leaning forward and capturing his lips between mine was too intense and the tension between us at this moment was over the roof.

Trying to control my breathing I swallowed my urges. I gulped hard. My heart was beating in my ears.  

His face was so close to me. I instantly look down to avoid him.

I felt him slowly lean in, near my ear. His lips were grazing my ear, making me tilt my head to the other side giving him more access.

He slowly traced his lips from my ear to my neck. He barely touched my skin but made shivers run down my spine. I closed my eyes, embracing his touch.

"Aiden..." I moaned his name and suddenly I realized what I had done making my eyes go wide. But I didn't move.

Shit

I heard him chuckle in my ears. 

He then gently placed a kiss on the base of my neck making my hormones go crazy. 

"What do you want, Aiden!?" I asked him in a whisper. The effect he has on me is astronomical.

"Are you avoiding me ?" He pulls back a little but is still very close to me.

"I have no clue what you are talking about Aiden. Just let me go" I said but didn't move. My body refused to fight his touch.

"I asked you a question April. Are you avoiding me?" He was so close to my ears his whisper made my hair stand up.

"As I said, I have no idea what you are talking about Aiden," I said and I turned my face to look at him. 

"Diverting your ways in the corridor, running out of the class even before the bell rings. Really? Do you think I am stupid? and by the way, I know you reach school hours before, just to not run into me in the morning. You think I wouldn't notice?"

He looked at me, coming a little closer to me than we already were. "I do... I do notice every little thing you do, you know why?

I lifted my gaze to look at his eyes. 

"Because it bothers me to not have you around me! Dammit! " He loudly whispered his last word and then he looked away "And I know it bothers you too!" he continued and what they say about eyes that the eyes never lie is true then he wasn't lying.

But I can't let him know that it bothers me too. I don't wanna be vulnerable around him, I can't be vulnerable around him. Not until I can trust him.

"Don't!" He said.

"What? I didn't even say anything." I raise my eyebrows at him, in confusion.

"Don't even think about denying it." He said.

"I ....." I stutter but he raised his eyebrows at me. He was right, I wanted to.

"How was I not supposed to not notice that you were ignoring me when my heart was screaming to be near you and you were nowhere to be seen or heard?!" he said. " I know I made a mistake and I am gonna regret it for the rest of my life but April, you can't just choose to disappear without saying anything"

he looked down and then he took a step back.

"I told you Aiden. I don't trust you. I..." I said

"How will you ever trust me again when you are not even talking to me? April, I hate myself for what I said or did but it is physically impossible for me to be away from you." He then ironically took a step back 

I carefully looked at him. It wasn't hard for me to notice how vulnerable he was in front of me right now and he didn't seem to mind it. He opened himself to me without even thinking twice. That is not the Aiden Dawson everyone talks about. The Aiden Dawson who seemed to have the reputation of being cold is now where t be seen and suddenly here he stands, my Aiden Dawson. Who doesn't mind showing how he feels about me which swells my heart.

"If you ever choose to forgive me then just know that I will be waiting," He said and then he went out of the classroom leaving me standing in the same position.

Has he changed? I know he is sorry. So can I not, just once overlook what we had in the past and give him a chance?