Mine To Forget

13 Trouble

I am in love, totally and utterly in love, with the man who is always around me but has no clue what I feel about him. He has finally managed to creep his way into my heart and under my skin. His blue eyes make me speechless, every time they look at me. 

I have no idea when this happened and how this happened and I don't care. I am in love and no force on this planet could say otherwise. I know I sound cheesy but my heart becomes mush when it comes to him. So cheesy or no cheesy, it is what it is.

He, on the other hand, has no idea about the storm he has stirred up inside of me. But I wonder if he feels the same way. 

I don't expect him to love me back. He doesn't have a lot of reasons to even like me. I mean, I was kind of a selfish bitch to him at first. I didn't even notice him till months after his joining. I was spoiled and never cared. 

But I do now, I care and that's what matters. At this point in my life, with all the chaos I live in, I was relieved to know that I have a heart, that beats for him. And Caleb has proved that it can love too. Loving him has been a self-discovery for me. 

I never thought I was capable of loving someone until he came along. He taught me to accept myself as it is. He makes me happy, makes me feel that I am safe.

 I have come to terms with not being loved back so it won't be difficult.

But I still feel scared of not being loved back by him. I am standing at a crossroads, and which path to take is up to me.

I can tell him how I feel or live with it and move on. I can't pull him into this mess, that my life is. It's complicated as it is. With everything going on, with father and his business. I can't risk it.

As I kept the journal down, after trying to decipher every word from this page, I looked out of the window to see that it was already getting dark. I was sitting in here for a while now and safe to say, I couldn't keep this journal down. Sure it was a little hard for me to read some of the pages and words but I didn't mind.

One very weird thing about this journal was that I noticed that the pages that were not ruined were about her (the owner of this journal)'s love life.

There were so many pages before, that I tried to read, trying to know more about this person's life but the ink was completely dissolved or rubbed off by water.

This journal has suddenly made me curious about the owner of this journal. She poured her heart out, about her life, on these pages but by the sounds of it, she wasn't really happy in her life. It's a vague guess but my gut was agreeing with me.

Savannah B.

I repeated this name again and again in my mind, it was bugging me. A feeling arose in my chest like I know this name and I can't seem to shake the feeling.

The words in the diary seem too personal, which makes me feel attached to them. A pull is what I feel every time I look at this journal, which keeps bothering me.

I, annoyed with this constant feeling of forgetfulness, slam the diary shut and shove it in my bag pack. I hate the feeling that creeps up my spine every time I look at it.

What's wrong with me?

It was getting late so I decided to pay and leave. I was collecting my stuff when I heard a group enter the diner. My ears immediately shot up as I looked up to see some very familiar faces entering. The whole 'Famous table of my school' just walked into the diner, which included Madison and Aiden.

Uh oh!  I thought to myself as I sensed some trouble. I pushed myself to the corner of the booth I was sitting in so that I wasn't visible to any of them.

Especially Aiden or Madison.

I just have to get up and leave. I breathe out and was about to leave when someone slammed a hand on my table loudly. I flinch a little and look up to see Madison grinning at me.

"I knew it was you," she smirked.

"Madison...wow what an unpleasant surprise," I said with fake enthusiasm.  

"Following us now?" she said as she stood in front of me with one hand on the table and the other on her waist.

"Correct me if I am wrong but doesn't that involve 'following', which I suppose you may know the meaning of, or do you want me to teach you?" 

"Don't act so smart, June," she smirked.

"You need to get a sense of humor Madison. That joke is getting old." I got up from my seat "Now if you will excuse me, one of us does have a life and that's not you. Goodbye Madison."

But she stepped in my way before I could walk away. 

"You think you are very smart don't you?" She scoffed at me.

"No sweetie, I know I am," I reverted.

"Listen here, bitch," she spat. "I don't fucking care about whatever you do with your life but I am going to warn you about something I should have long ago. STAY AWAY FROM AIDEN! He is mine and if I see you anywhere near him, I'll destroy you." 

If I had water in my mouth I would have spat it on her face, laughing. "Are you crazy!?" I realized that I was a bit loud as her whole group was now looking at us. 

"I have no idea what goes inside your empty ass brain but let's get one thing straight, Me and Aiden not happening. Ever. He is all yours. So leave me out of it," I said, and before she could say another word I walked away.