Mine To Forget

42. The return of the past

I rechecked the address written down on the piece of paper I was holding, for the last time. I was standing outside Caleb's house, contemplating.

It took me exactly a week to somehow dig his address. He has not been picking up my calls or responding to my text messages and he has, to my shock, resigned from his post at school. I had to see him.

I have this weird feeling in my gut that something is not right, something is going downhill and I had to find out what.

Taking a long, deep breath I finally ring the doorbell. Nobody answered so I rang the doorbell again and once again, no answer. So I knocked on the door, quite loudly. Finally, I heard the click behind the door. As the door opened I saw Caleb standing just opposite me. He looked different.

His eyes were puffy, dark circles covered his eyes. His eyes were bloodshot red. His hair looked like they haven't touched a comb in years. He looked like a pure mess. My heart clenched at the sight of him.

"Caleb.." I whispered but before I could muster up the courage to say something else he turned around and left me standing in his doorway. 

"Caleb," I said again, a little louder this time, and followed him inside his house. Taking a few steps inside his threshold I came into a dark living room. I took another step when a loud clanking noise filled the empty dark room. I knocked a glass bottle or a tumbler maybe. I whipped my head to the little sunlight that was peeping through his blackout curtains, I swiped open the curtains.

As I turn back to the room, I witness the most horrific sight. Alcohol bottles were everywhere, pizza boxes, and takeaway boxes lying around. The only thing that made my heart more worried was the number of bottles lying around me. Beer bottles, whiskey bottles, bourbon.

I followed Caleb to see him in his kitchen with a whiskey bottle in his hand as he poured the content into a glass.

"Caleb," I called him again but he simply ignored me. He picked up his glass and made his way towards the couch as he took a sip out of it and I just stood there, watching him.

"Caleb, it's 10 am!" I said but he just chuckled at me.

"I was worried sick about you Caleb! I have been calling you, texting you, and you have' t answered any of 'em. What is going on?" I said with a little panic in my voice.

"Huh." He let out a small voice, mocking me. "So now you remember me?" He snapped at me and I just looked at him confused.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I said as I looked at him with a frown.

"Nothing... sorry it's just... I know it's not your fault but...." He waved his hand in the air dismissing everything he just said. "Just leave...April. Just go away." He got up from his seat and made his way upstairs.

"No .. no - no - no.... you are not going anywhere. But what Caleb? What the hell are you talking about?" At this moment my head was replaying everything that happened and everything that could have gone wrong with Caleb and me but nothing made sense. I had no idea what I did wrong.

I need to know. A voice, from deep inside of me, forced me, pushed me to know what he was trying to say. Something was not adding up. Him, his behavior, his words. I needed to know.

So I walked toward him but instead, I knocked a pile of books kept in my way making me lose my balance.

"Princess!" Caleb exclaimed as he hurried to my side. "You have to watch where you are walking. Why do you always have to be so clumsy?" He said, taking my elbow which took the impact of the fall the most.

Suddenly, in the back of my head, I heard someone call me princess, in the same voice, again and again, and again.

It was his voice, it was Caleb's voice.

Those voices became clearer and clearer with every word Caleb said which was being drowned with the voices in the back of my head.

"What...what did you just call me..?" I asked him with a shaky breath.

My heart had started thudding and I could hear it in my head. Caleb's eyes snapped at me.

"I... I...." He fumbled with his words, the color was draining from his face like he just said something he shouldn't have said.

"What did you just call me?" I asked him as tears pooled in my eyes, unknowingly. My breathing still trying to get normal, begging to get normal. My chest was growing as it got more overwhelming with each second and it was getting hard for me to breathe.

Caleb, with a jolt, got up and looked away. "You really should go," and he went upstairs.

I was picking myself off the floor when my eyes landed on a photo peeking out of a book. I picked up that book and slowly opened the first page.

                                                           
   "My favorite love story after ours"

                                                                                                 Forever yours - Sav

My trembling hands pulled out the picture from between the pages. One look at that picture and it felt like my whole life was crashing down.

It was me and him, Caleb in a photo booth, smiling at the camera. The last snapshot was of him and me..kissing. My hands started trembling and my breath became sharp.

A teardrop rolled down my eyes and as a wave, the strongest most powerful wave, everything started flooding my mind.

It felt like I was peeking through a Zoetrope as every memory of mine was passing me by. I could hear every laughter, every scream, my car exploding, Caleb's voice, the way he told me he loved me too.

Everything - everything came back to me.