тaĸe мy нandѕ now | jjĸ

잘가

*Trigger Warning! Please don't read if topics such as suicide make you feel uncomfortable*

There was nothing special about this evening. It was the same blue-black sky, lit up by the bright lights of the city. The same sound of car horns passing by. The same cool wind that breezed through my long hair. Yep, there was nothing that made tonight the slightest bit intriguing. Yet there was something about this certain night that caused tears to prick my eyes.

My eyes dropped below the rooftop, seeing the long black road beneath me. Cars were driving by cars and there were tiny people walking along the sidewalks. Nothing out of the ordinary. But there was no doubt something unexpected was about to happen.

I quietly sniffed and wiped away the tears with my hoodie sleeve. I was too emotional. That was a pretty lame reason to end it all. But don't worry, it wasn't. 

Everything hurt, my head, my heart, everything. I didn't want to die like this, but there was only so much I could take. I hated waking up every day to see the smiles of people that I disappoint. I hated that I was too weak to fight back the monsters inside me. I hated myself.

There was a part of me wanted to turn back and go home. But the other part firmly held my body in place. Just do it Eunji, don't be a coward. Jump.

I closed my eyes and placed my trembling hands on the railing. Breathe in. Breathe out.

My last breaths. My last everything. I slowly crawled underneath the long railing and found my feet right at the edge of this building. I was about 300 centimeters from the ground. My fingers clung to the railing, but I knew I would have to let go soon. Just one step and-

"KIM EUNJI!"

My foot froze when I heard his voice. Why of all times did he have to come now? 

I said nothing and stood still like an ice sculpture.

I could hear his footsteps approaching me. I could hear the panting in his voice from running up all the stairs to get up here.

"Eunji-yah," He said my name in almost a whisper, afraid to speak any louder. "Come back to the other side please."

My heart began thumping rapidly against my chest. My muscles tensed up and I could feel the fear overwhelm me.

"J-jungkook p-please g-go," I stuttered. "Y-you shouldn't see this."

Jungkook reached his hand out for me, "Jagi, please. You've been fighting for so long. Just fight a little longer for us, yeah? Don't give up now."

I let out a delirious laugh and shook my head, "I'm sorry Jungkook. I guess I'm too weak for this world."

"Eunji-yah, please . . ." He tried to say. 

Aish, why of all people did he have to be here at this moment? I didn't need to turn around to see the tears streaming down his face. Those tears are because of my stupid self.

"I'm a coward aren't I?" I murmured, mostly to myself. "I'm sorry Jungkook. But you'll find someone better than me."

"It doesn't have to be this way, Jagi," He said. Desperation was evident in his voice. "You...you have so much to live for. We can get through this together."

I sighed sadly and shook my head. As much as I could feel the sincerity in his voice, the words were too familiar. I knew that nothing would change how screwed up things were. There was no point in living on.

I slowly turned my head to meet his eyes. They were red and puffy from crying. Even though he looked so heartbroken, he still managed to look handsome as ever. Everything in me wanted to run to him, to let him hold me, and never ever let go. I was going to miss him. 

He didn't deserve to see this. He didn't deserve to be in pain because of me. This was the way...this way things would be better. 

"I-I love you, Jungkook-ah," I said quietly, giving him a small smile. A sickening smile.

"Th-thank you for everything."

"Eunji, please don't do this," Jungkook pleaded. He begged as sobs escaped his mouth. "Please..."

"잘가," I whispered before stepping off the roof. 잘가 Jeon Jungkook.

"EUNJI-YAH!"

But it was too late.  This was the day I had given up. This was the day I lost the battle to depression. This was the day where I broke the heart of my first love. I'm so sorry.

잘가

~~~

Annyeong my lovely readers! Sorry if this story brought your mood down. In no way am I saying that suicide is the way to go, it's not. But you can imagine the reasoning people end such a precious thing that God gave us. What I mean to say is, don't give up. No matter how many storms you may go through, there will always be a rainbow at the end. So just hang in there and remember that we're blessed by God with seven handsome and talented men who produce music that changes our lives.

Thanks for reading, I hope you liked this short story. If you did, please vote and comment, thanks again ^_^

*잘가 (jal ga) means goodbye