Personal Diary / Journal - art, addiction and a whole lotta love

2020 Mar 26 Thursday

I'm feeling a bit blue, a bit worried, a bit scared. I drank a beer in like 15 minutes while watching Survivor with Baby Love, maybe the beer is the reason. Oh, i think i'm grasping something. It's the lack of occupation. I'm anxious because time is passing and i'm not doing anything productive. Already did an hour of recording today so afterwards i started off with entertainment. It's the lack of productivity and there's the beer.

Baby Love cooked a friggin delicious meal of baked potatoes with onions and a sort of bacon, it was absolutely amazing. It wasn't much coz we didn't have many potatoes but it was brilliant, i ate it in small bites and enjoyed it over a larger span of time. There was pickled cabbage as well. Put it all in my app for monitoring calories.

The recordings are coming along all right, i listened to some of what i did today and it didn't feel boring. It kind of something to play for an hour and not bore yourself to death, i hope i can do more in the future.

I feel small. I miss my Baby Love, touching her and holding her. She's busy at the moment, i don't want to disturb her. The feelings i'm having at the moment could be viewed as inspiration. Let me try to put it in movement. [..] turns out it was a bit of a posture thing actually, my hands came together in a prayer-like position, i closed my eyes and i prayed. Not for something in particular, just felt the comfort of my hands brought together and my eyes closed. I bowed my head and when the time came and i brought the whole thing upwards, you know, sat up straighter, i felt dizzy because of the beer so i stopped. I don't think it's loneliness what i'm feeling, rather like.. i dunno.