Personal Diary / Journal - art, addiction and a whole lotta love

2020 Mar 27 Friday

The recordings are going well. Today i felt it hard to focus on my playing, plus there was no connection to my hands, they felt heavy and inflexible. But as time went on my connections warmed up, and focus gained strength. It feels good to spend my mornings recording. I have to be careful not to disregard my other practices, my discipline, my entertainment curfew of 2pm. For example, it's noon now and i'm in the mood to watch some Extras, feeling like i worked. And the trouble is, if i watch one episode, then i won't be able to stop and go back to my discipline. It's binge or naught. I have to figure it out somehow, maybe start with the recordings later in the day? But no, i like warming up to the day with the instrument in my arms. Another idea is to record for a longer period of time, but already the last minutes are kind of sparse with inspiration, i get tired after an hour. So for the time being, an hour is quite sufficient. We'll see.

[three pm and a quarter] since i've renounced living forever in my life sim game, i've been living on a "what feels like an activity that i haven't done in a longer time" basis, doing stuff in order to feel balanced. So i'm trying this out right now in my everyday (real) life. I wrote a short list of activities that i'm keeping an eye on, and i'm crossing them off my list as i go about my day doing them. I've left on a dance video and i'm watching it as i write, on eye there and one eye on my phone text. It's pretty good, the person seems really into it and pretty talented. Right now on my list are: finishing an episode of Extras, doing some overtime with my recordings, physical exercises, going to the bathroom, reading, masturbating and writing. I guess i'll cross writing off the list. Erase it, actually. Actually, would it be better if i actually crossed them out instead of erasing them? -this is one of my main flaws, a tendency to optimize when i have just started something.