Personal Diary / Journal - art, addiction and a whole lotta love

2020 May 02 Saturday

The sitting on the floor is going pretty good. I've done it all day so far. It's less comfortable, but the productivity sensor is pointing to a higher degree, like i'm actually doing something. I'm thinking of creating an environment where quitting smoking comes naturally. I've foregone smoking at regular intervals, it seems too much focus at the moment, i'd rather stay on the floor and do the smoking part at a later time. Maybe it's not for me, to smoke at regular intervals. At least not yet. I've also optimized my phone a bit where i don't have to press any physical button, i added an accessibility feature that allows this. Maybe i don't even need the fingerprint scanner, although all the movies indicate that i need it. Not once has it been too easy for people to break into other people's phones that were laying around unattended. I don't want to be one of those people, the victims.

Today was the second time in a long time when i sat up from eating sooner than emptying my plate. That's a major accomplishment. I'm sure, with all this discipline, there will come more independence and confidence to achieve this independence. If i could make quitting cigarettes easier. Quit them gradually so i don't feel that much of a withdrawal, or have it span out over a longer time with lower intensity... but how. I smoke less now every time i do smoke, only two puffs, now all i have to do is smoke rarer. Is rarer a word? My phone seems to think so.

[..] i think i got it, at least i got the next thing i'll try. I want to make it harder to smoke, it want there to be a cost. I will wait one minute from the moment that i want to smoke until i actually smoke. It can't be crunches, i would get a ridiculously uneven body if i did crunches every time i wanted to smoke. Although, not necessarily. Hmm. Maybe next thing i'll try will be crunches every time i want to smoke. For now, one minute wait for every two puffs. Then increase. Two minutes. Up to an hour. Let's see if this sticks.

Already this sitting on the floor thing helps, i've begun to clean one of my dirtier musical instruments.