Personal Diary / Journal - art, addiction and a whole lotta love

2020 Mar 02 Monday

Yesterday the concert was fine. It sounded really good for about an hour, the time we were supposed to play, then the next 20 minutes we played it began to suck just a little bit.

I was almost sure my bandmate would want to play more than the agreed upon time, and it was exactly like i expected. I need to have a conversation with him next he tries to do this, it's not ok. Even one of the guys from the public indicated that after a while the audience gets saturated with our sound. Less is more.

I normally would argue that it's ok to play more, big concerts usually last longer than an hour, but in that case the band sounds great throughout, whereas we get tired faster and begin the Great Suck.

[..] i listened to a few recordings made by my Baby Love and my part sounds pretty tight.

I'm in the mood for some mind/body practice. maybe an observation worthy to be noted is that if i'm not doing anything in particular, sitting on the floor or an uncomfortable surface invites more movement than laying down in a bed or the couch. The avoidance of pain is a good motivator for movement.

[..] followed Baby Love's advice and made myself a super omelette with leftovers from the fridge. I won't go into the specifics of the recipe, but i'll say this: tasted like friggin madness! 500 calories well-spent.

A quarter to one. I'm keeping the 2pm entertainment curfew. 3pm is a bit much at this point.

Read something by an author in my native language, text is about 100 years old. Compared to that, my English is simplistic at best. I'm sorry for the lack of odor and flavor in my text. It's what i can do without risking some polluted phrasing that won't sound like the real deal. My English resembles that of American TV shows without the American atmosphere. It doesn't even come close even to a basic British text. It will have to do, i guess. But perhaps i miss writing in my native language. Random syllables at least, considering i'm not ready for a bigger project.

[..] i played my instrument a little and it felt like writing a bit. Disregarding technique as usual, even playing cliches if they came to me. I determined that the writing-like quality is that i tried to make some sense of it, connecting ideas one to the next.

I recorded the last part of the session, until my neighbors started work again with renovation. I'm listening to it now, it's very calm, not too interesting, but it would be nice in a cafe as the background music.

It showcases the normal sounds specific to my instrument. Very unpretentious. In this sense i like a lot.

[..] i watched a bunch of pornography, only after which pleased myself, then listened to some more of my music. An unexplained feeling came over me, an energy very primal, which i could not express on my instrument, i tried. While playing, it just got more and more intense, until i figured i should do something else lest i get frustrated. I danced very vigorously, then put on some music louder than usual and danced some more.

The feeling subsided, once again strengthening my suspicion that i cannot get everything out just by playing my instrument, and that my body is the purest instrument.

Baby love came home shortly after i felt relieved somewhat. Residual primal feeling remained, so i gave her a dance-kiss session which she said she liked very much.

Since selling some more of my music equipment, the table in the living room became unencumbered. Now all that's left on in are: a candle on a coaster, my portable recorder on it's little stool, the small bluetooth speaker and my phone on the incredibly handy support my Baby Love made for me. And this wonderful keyboard i'm typing on right now. I'm sitting on the floor beside the table. I'd say about 10% of the table's surface is occupied, it looks very zen.