I Love You More

Chapter 10

Brandon's POV

**READ THE AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER**

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you... I became insane, in prison. After prison. After my divorce with Callie, Sam coming back into my life. To never stop loving Sierra. It was all with long intervals of horrible sanity, I also made sure there was a fine line between genius and insanity. I made sure I erased this line. In my head, I think hell exists on earth. It's a psychological state, or it can be a physical state.

People who have a severe mental illness are in hell. People who have lost a loved one are in hell. I think there are all kinds of different hells. It's not a place you go to after you die. Callie thought I was okay, Blue thought I was okay. So did Kevin, Mat, Taylor, Jesus, Sam, Ramón and Jose. Everyone.

All I had to do was fake the biggest smile on my face and laugh a little and I was fooling the whole word, even Sierra; I guess she didn't know me so well.... Every now and then I hear voices in my head, but not very clear. I can't understand what they are saying. It's a mental illness-- I took the gun out from under my bed and placed it on the table, grabbing a piece of paper and wrote my final words:

Dear Blue, Callie and Kevin,

Life without happiness is pure darkness. I feel certain that I'm going mad again, I feel like we can't go through another of those terrible times and I shouldn't recover this time from all the pain and sorrow; from all the voices that I hear, they tell me things. Things I cannot fathom into words but only actions and Satan will hold me highly on his evil throne as I burn along side him. And so I try to leave this earth, where the heart must either break or turn to lead.

I placed it on the bed and grabbed the dark, cold metal pistol in my hand and pressing it to my temple. My finger played with the trigger and I pushed my finger down on it...

*BEEP.. BEEP... BEEP... BEEP*

Callie's POV

I heard the gunshot upstairs, I thought it was someone who had broken in but when I went to look, it was worse than I thought. I called 911 and helped Brandon as much as I could.. I had blood all over my clothes as Blue, Kevin showed when they drove him to the hospital, maybe dead. "MOM?! What happened?! What's up with your clothes?" Jesus and Sam showed up on the property.

"What happened, Callie?!" Sam screamed. "I-- I heard a gunshot... I thought someone was breaking in but--" I stayed silent and weeped. Kevin hugged me. ".... He shot himself." Sam and Blue's eyes popped out. "WHAT?! WE HAVE TO GO TO SEE IF HES OKAY!" Blue screamed, "So... You care now?" Sam asked. "HE STILL MY DAD!" She screamed.

-------------------

We sat in the waiting room for about 6 hours. No news. No doctor passed by. Blue was heartwrenchingly mourning and Kevin hugged her tightly as he whispered stuff in her ear to console her. Eric showed up and they hugged, Sam smirked quite a lot at the thought of Eric there. Kevin removed himself from the room. Blue kissed Eric's lips and followed behind her brother.

Blues POV

"THIS ISNT FAIR! MY FATHER IS DYING AND YOUR JEALOUS?! YOU ARE SELFISH!" I screamed at him. He lit a cigarette, ignoring me. "HAS IT EVER CROSSED YOUR MIND THAT I JUST CAME OUT TO HAVE A SMOKE?! YOUR THE PAST, BLUE! THERE AINT SHIT BETWEEN US!" He yelled at me. I was bewildered. I kept quiet, I felt him calm down and I calmed down. "Why do you act like this? Why do you act like you don't care?" I whimpered. "Because I don't. Because you're nothing.. Because you're gonna love New York." My eyes started watering. "Ye--Yeah... We should go inside." I removed myself from his presence.

Eric met me up halfway and hugged me tightly as I started crying on his shoulder. "Hey, hey baby..." He cooned. "I think I know what I have to do." I sniffled, "You aren't doing what I think you're doing." I wiped my tears away, "Im a Foster. I have to do the right thing.." I said. The elevator dinged and we got off. "You're not doing this, Blue! You understand--?!" Sam and Jesus pulled him off me, "Hey!" Eric spat. I looked at the 3 of them, "What's going on? Let him go." I got ahold of Sam's arm.

"We have to talk to your fiancée, Blue. This won't take long.." Jesus told me, I bit my lip. "Okay, I'll be with my mom." I said. I walked over to her and I saw them turn the corner. I looked at Mom, "Do you think he's gonna be okay?" I asked her. "I don't know--" she sniffled. "--But God can only help us now." I kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly to me as she cried for her ex husband, lover and father of her child.

Sam's POV

We turned the corner and Jesus slammed Eric against the wall. "Oh boy! Tell us what you know!" Eric laughed, "I don't know what your talking about, kids!" He spat. "Why would my dad let you be with Blue if he knew that you were the biggest drug cartel from Arizona to LA and Mexico--?!" I screamed. Jesus pulled him harder on the wall, "--WHY?!" I screamed. Eric only laughed. Jesus pinned him down to the floor this time. "Why should I answer to you?!" He spat, I got in his face. "Because my father could die! That means I'm next in line for to take orders from, hill billy!" He sucked his teeth, "No. That would be Blue--" I slapped him.

"I rather die and let my father die then make sure my fucked up little sister is next in line, so you TELL ME!" I screamed. Jesus pinned him down harder. "What do you want to know?" I grinned at him. "Why would he do that?" I asked him, quietly. "I work for him. I work for anyone who is in need of my services!" Eric yelled. "And he needed your services?" He nodded.

I nodded at Jesus. He punched Eric, making him bleed, "Why was he in need of your services, Eric--?" Jesus punched his stomach, making him groan in pain. "--The easier you rat... The easier we'll leave you alone and you and my sister can live happily ever after in your bundle of lies..." I grabbed him angrily by the collar. "Speak!" Eric flinched in fear as I spit on him.

He hit the floor and I looked at with a death glare. "Speak now, boy.." I whispered. "Eric!" Blue turned the corner and I picked Eric up from the floor. "It's Dad, Sam..." I let him go and Jesus took my hand tightly. "Is he okay?" I asked her. She didn't budge, nor moved to give me any indication that he was okay. "BLUE--!" I screamed. "Leave Eric alone and I'll speak." I laughed. "Not before he tells me some information I need..." Jesus punched him again, he groaned. "Uncle Jesus! Stop! Leave him alone!"

"Then I want him to speak! Speak, Swilley!" I grabbed his throat in between my hands. "Speak about what?!" Blue cried. "Something of mine that went missing, I know he took it from me." Blue looked at Eric. "You're stealing from my family?" Eric gasped as I kept him in between my grip. "Yes" I yelled. "And he better speak.." I threatened.

"Let him go, Sam.." She warned. "NOW!" She yelled at me. Jesus and me let Eric go. He walked over to Blue and I heaved in aggravation. "What's up with Dad?" I asked her once more. "He's alive. He's alive and he wants to talk with us."

A/N: Although this is only chapter 10. The final final finale is gonna be the best and the finale breaks my heart but I had planned this from the beginning and I must to this to you all....