Snicker & Tears

61: Faulty Feelings

"Sha... den... what?" It is Spencer who is confused and unable to understand the terms of the doctor he's talking to.

"Schadenfreude." Doc Cleto stopped writing again and looked at Spencer. "For example, you're happy because your ex's house got burned or you're happy when your classmate got scolded by your teacher because the teacher caught that student cheating."

"Sakit ba 'yon, doc?" Spencer asked again as the doctor had done nothing but explain to Spencer what he was asking.

"'Yong ibang schadenfreude, that's part of our human development but frequent schadenfreude can indicate a serious mental health condition." Doc Cleto carefully explained the words he said. "Usually, Schadenfreude people are antisocial."

"Antisocial? Ah! Doc, mayro'n pa 'kong isang friend, antisocial siya." Spencer cuts to doctor's statement. "Ang weird niya rin, sobrang kill joy niya lagi. Para bang mamamatay siya pag ngumiti siya. Ayaw niya sa masaya. Hindi naman sa takot siya sa mga fun activities pero natatakot siya na sumaya kapag ginawa niya 'yon. Weird, right?"

"I think your friend is not weird. It's just because your friend had a cherophobia," Doc Cleto said softly as he continued writing on papers over his desk.

"What's that, doc? Sakit din ba 'yon? Mental disorders?" Spencer asked looking at his doctor's concern.

"It is when a person preventing oneself to be happy because they believe when they are happy, something terrible will happen. Cherophobia is not classified as a mental disorder and some medical experts, like me, we believe that cherophobia is a form of anxiety," said Doc Cleto.

Spencer quietly listened to the words that echoed in his doctor friend's mouth.

"Anxiety got triggered when they participated in some fun activities so they were avoiding events that could cause them to feel happiness. For example, you wanted her to go somewhere to enjoy but she or she declined your offer because they were afraid that being happy would lead to something bad." Doc Cleto looked at Spencer again as he used to say those words.

"A, kaya pala! Mabuti na lang at napapayag ko siya na sumama sa 'kin na pumunta sa Pampanga," Spencer said accidentally, nodding as he now understood the doctor's explanation.

"The reasons why a person may have such a disorder may be due to past conflict or trauma. Maybe that friend may have been traumatized when he or she lost a loved one or something unpleasant event happened in his or her life." Doc Cleto added as his conversation with Spencer seemed to come to an end after hearing those words.

"Who is that friend of yours then?" Doc Cleto asked as Spencer hesitated.

Spencer was shocked when he realizes that Doc Cleto is asking him questions, so that he is almost dead and his tongue could tell the real name of the friend he is referring to. "Si... Sie... Ah, Reggie! My football player friend!"

Doc Cleto nodded.
***

"Today, I just found out that the friend he always told me about was you so I'm here today. I called him earlier morning and greeted him on his birthday."

***
"Happy Birthday, Spencer!" That's what the man who called him just now says.

"Thanks," Spencer replied as he put his cellphone near in the ear.

"O, ba't parang malungkot? Ano bang regalo gusto mo, Peng?" asked Doc Cleto.

"Isa lang naman ang gusto kong regalo, Doc... pero mukhang malabo na makasama ko pa siya ngayon. I hurt her, Doc. I'm also hurt by what's happening on us." Spencer said sadly and now he was crying because of those words.

"Sino ba? Can you tell me?" asked Doc Cleto who was concerned.

Spencer stopped sobbing and then responded. "'Yong friend na lagi kong kinukwento sa 'yo, it's Sierra, Doc. Sorry, I didn't keep my promise to you."

"Spencer, at first glance, looks like a happy child but if you could look at the other side of his personality, he is really a sad kid, depressed and troubled. Nor is he as crazy or abnormal as you think. It's that... he suffers from a disease called Pseudobulbar Affect or PBA, a nervous system disorder in which it affects his emotions, he does not know when he will laugh or cry. His laughter is beyond of his control as well as the tears. Unbearable and uncontrollable." Doc Aries Cleto's final words before finally leaving and letting Sierra alone in the room.
***

•••••

Doc Aries Cleto's final tread on the brake of the car has taken place. Their car stopped and Sierra also stopped remembering some memories happened before.

"We're here," Doc Aries Cleto promised and got off the car first. He opened the door to his wife and daughter. "Sierra, dear, I am sad for what has happened between you and Spencer. Someday you will forget him too."

They walked together with a large crowd of people who were just like them from far city. All but one wish, to witness the Giant Lantern Festival, one of the most popular lantern festivals in the Philippines. The lantern representing the star of Bethlehem who guided and brought the Three Wise Men to the manger where our Jesus Christ was born. It is part of the tradition of the Kapampangan and the Filipino people to make a lantern that dates back to the Spanish period when they brought Christianity to the Philippines. This festival in San Fernando, Pampanga is the way to showcase the ultimate and iconic symbol of the Christmas spirit- colorful giant lanterns, there are small lanterns too, simple yet haunting and beloved but whatever else no matter the design of the lantern, it means these two things for Filipinos- faith and hope.