Fix You

14-Fireball

*Leahs pov*

I call Jennifer for the 3rd time, and she still declines it. "Damnit Jen.." I whisper to myself, then I hear footsteps as Kate comes in the bedroom. I put my phone down, and she crawls into my lap. "What's up?" I ask. "Are we good? Like officially, because I wanna call you mine again.." She tilts her head.

I look down and blink slowly. Then I look back at her and force a smile. "Yes, yes we're good." I nod and she smiles and kisses me.

Yet I still have this growing urge to talk to Jennifer. I just can't never talk to her again knowing how badly I hurt her. I have to make it right, and explain myself.

Since she won't answer my texts, and refuses to answer her phone, I'll just come to her.

-

I end up waiting til later tonight to see Jen since Kate would have already left and I wouldn't have to worry about her. But unfortunately, she's still here.

"Let's go out." Kate says. "Mmm, no I'm kinda tired.." I lie. "Please??" She pouts. "No." I say sternly. "Fine, then I'll just bring the party to us." She says and smiles.

She walks off, and I couldn't care less about what she's doing. Then she comes back with 2 glasses and a thing of fireball. "Kate what the fuck?!" I say and stand up. "What??" She asks getting starttled. "First off, why the hell do you have that, and where did you get it- did you bring it from your house?!" I ask getting pissed. "Yeah, so what?" She shrugs.

"Kate! You know my situation, you're the one that has been with me from the beginning, why would you deliberately bring that shit over here like I'm not still struggling?!" I ask. "Leah, you can get lose with me, it's ok, you're better now.." She says trying to be sincere.

"Do you not hear yourself right now? Yes, I want to drink, so bad sometimes. But I don't, because I know it will hurt me, and others around me. I can't do it anymore Kate, this is a permanent thing, I just can't drink." I explain and start to get teary eyed.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know that you still can't drink, we don't have to." She says and puts the glasses down and comes over to give me a hug. "It's ok..." I say and shake my head since I don't want to start an argument, even though I'm still kind of upset.

"I think you should go home for tonight..." I say and pull away. "I-....ok, that's probably best." She sighs and stands up. I stand up too and open the front door for her. "I love you.." She says hesitantly. "I love you too." I say and look away, then she goes in for a kiss, but I turn my head so it lands on my cheek. She sighs and walks away, then I shut the door.

I go and fix my face since I started crying. Then I waited a little to make sure Kate was completely gone. Then I grabbed my keys, went out the door, and headed to Jens apartment.

-

I get to the lobby, and the lady at the front desk stops me. "Ma'am, you need a key." She says. "Oh, I'm visiting someone." I explain. "I'm sorry but I can't allow you to pass through. Do you have the name of the person?" She asks and opens this binder. "Uh-yes, Jennifer Lopez." I say and lean on the counter while she looks through the big ass binder.

"Ah, yes, you can head up now." She smiles and shuts the binder. "Thanks." I say with an annoyed tone, then I head over to e elevators, and go to her floor.

I get to her door, then I go to knock, but I stop myself and wait there for like 3 minutes just thinking. Then I finally get the courage to knock.

I hear footsteps slowly hitting the ground as they get closer to the door. I can tell just by the way she's walking, that she's still upset.

I hear the door click, then it opens and she looks at me, and her eyes widen. "What do you want?" She says bluntly, I can tell she's hurt, and me being here isn't making it better.

"I just wanna talk.." I say. "You don't need to explain yourself. Anything you say won't change the way you hurt me." She says in a soft voice that breaks my heart. "Look, I care about you..." I say. "Then why would you do all that when you knew that the outcome would be like this? That obviously shows you don't care." She says.

"If didn't care, then I wouldn't be here." I tilt my head. She looks down and shakes her head. "Fine..." She says and opens the door all the way. I slowly step in and she shuts the door behind me.

"Ok, start talking." She says and crosses her arms. "Look, my intentions were never to hurt you, I'm not that type of person." I say and she scoffs in disbelief. "I was with her before I knew you, that's why everytime you got a little flirty, I would back off. And when you kissed me, I knew it was wrong. But when we almost had sex the first time, I wasn't trying to use you for your body, I just said I don't want it to lead to a relationship since me and Kate were one break, and I didn't know if we'd be together or not afterwards." I explain.

"We're you still on a break when we had sex?" She asks. "Yes! That's what I've been trying to tell you." I say. "You think that still makes me ok? If you weren't sure about your relationship status, why would you do it in general?" She asks.

"I didn't think we'd work out afterwards to be honest, and I really did like you.." I say calming down. "Did?" She tilts her head and I give her look. "You know what I mean, but, please just forgive me. I don't want to lose you, you're an amazing friend and you mean so much to me." I say and walk closer.

"Are you still with her?" She almost whispers and I sigh. "Yeah.." I say softly and I can already see every ounce of pain aching in her. "Ok then....I guess that's fine, we're fine." She nods slowly and bite she lip. "We're fine?" I ask and she nods. "So we're ok?" I ask to make sure.

"Yes, were all good." She forces a smile. "Ok, that's great, thankyou so much Jennifer." I say and pull her into a hug. She slowly hugs me back, then I pull away and kiss her cheek.

We just stare at eachother for a second, then I decide to break the silence. "I better get going, I have to stop by my work in a couple of minutes." I explain and she nods. "No, yeah I understand." She smiles.

"Ok, well we should plan something soon." I say and slowly start to walk towards the door. "Definitely! I actually do have things in mind." She says once I get to the door. "Ok, well you'll have to text me about it later." I smile and walk out the door. "Ok, I will, bye." She says. "Bye." I say and she shuts the door.

She already has things planned? Already? That's odd being that she planned on never talking to me again, but I guess I'll just have too see what she's thinking about.