Fix You

23-You Cant Help Who You Love

*jens pov*

Seeing Leah like that kind of made me feel some type of way. I don't know how to explain it. I just really miss her, and I don't like when we talk like we don't even know eachother, it's so weird. We're best friends, we've had sex, I mean c'mon. Everything is so confusing, and I'm getting tired of it.

But I also feel bad, because I take it out on Ben sometimes, and that's not fair to him. I just can't help myself, I need a break.

-

"No, no! I did not!" I laugh as me and Ben walk into my apartment. "Whatever you say Jen.." He laughs and stands in the doorway.

We collect ourselves, and finally stop laughing. Then it just gets quiet. "Do you wanna come in?" I ask and hold my hand out to the inside of my apartment. He leans on the door frame and shakes his head.

"Uh, no, I think I should get going..." He says and eyes me down.

"Ok...well I guess I'll see you next time." I smile and he nods. "Yeah..." He says and we still just stand there looking at eachother.

I sigh and just look around since it's getting awkward. Then I make I contact with him again, and he's really hard to read right now.

Suddenly he quickly steps inside and shuts the door behind him. He smashes his lips against mine and slams me against the door, not too rough. "Mmm..Ben." I mutter as he starts to suck on my neck.

His hands travel to my ass, and he pushes his body closer to mine.

My hands stay at his shoulders, still hesitant about this. He kisses my lips like he's hungry, and I kiss him back.

I don't want this yet, but I can't stop him, it feels so good. I haven't felt this way in months. Not since Leah...

"No..." I mumble but he keeps going. "Ben, I-I can't." I say louder and he slows down. "What's wrong?" He asks. "I can't do this." I shake my head and he completely takes his body away from me. "Oh god, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I thought-." He starts to ramble on.

"No,no, it's ok, you did nothing wrong." I assure him. "I just can't do this with you.." I say quietly and he looks at me confused.

"Ben..." I sigh and he gives me his full attention. "I like Leah..." I whisper. "What?" He says shocked. "I like Leah...a lot." I say louder and he furrows his brows.

"Y-you like girls?" He asks softly and I look down and nod my head yes. "Oh..." He says speechless. "I'm sorry.." I tilt my head and walk closer to him. I reach my hand for his, but he slowly pulls his away.

"It's ok....I-." He try's to get words out but he can't. "I just can't think of the right thing to say..." He says and I can tell he's really upset by the tears forming in his eyes. "Oh my god, Ben, please- don't cry." I say and he looks away.

He sniffs and shakes his head. "It's ok...I understand. You can't help who you love." He shrugs and forces a smile. "Yeah, I guess so.." I agree and he forces a chuckle.

"Ben, look. You're a great guy. An amazing guy in fact. And one day, you're going to find a girl who loves you more than anything in this world. I'm just not the one..." I explain and he listens.

"Just know that you have options, take your time, not all of them are going to last, and that's ok." I smile and he nods. "Thankyou for everything. We've had some great times, and you make me happy. But I can't do this anymore." I tilt my head and he nods.

"I understand, don't worry about it." He forces a smile. "I think I should get going.." He says. "Are you sure? You can stay if you want.." I offer. "I would, but..I don't think I can..." He shakes his head and I nod. "That's ok." I say and he walks over to the door and opens it.

"Hey, I'll call you sometime.." I say and he nods. "Bye.." I say softly and he forces a smile and walks out closing the door behind him, leaving me in silence.

"Fuck.." I say to myself and put my face in my hands. I feel bad, but I have to say, it feels like a weight has been lifted. I was going to do that sooner or later.

So I'm glad it's finally over, even though I just broke that boys heart. Damn, he really liked me..

But what he said was true, you can't help who you love. So I wasn't going to just fake it with him, I wouldn't be able to. I have to get to Leah...

-
*leahs pov*

This morning I woke up to Jen calling me and wanting to hang out. So of course I said yes, being that we haven't been able to hang out in forever, so I'm not missing this chance.

I got ready pretty fast, I guess I'm excited, but also kind of nervous...

I fumble around trying to find my shoes, then I finally get them on and head out the door. But right when I open the door, Kate is standing there with her hand up, I'm guessing she was just about to knock.

"K-Kate?!" I ask out of breath. "Hi...I was wondering if we could talk.." She says and eyes me down since I look crazy. "I-I can't talk right now Kate." I say and walk out, shutting the door.

"I want to talk to you Leah." She begs, but I'm really just trying to see Jennifer. "Look, I have an appointment, ok? I'm gonna be late." I lie. "Ok, well how about tomorrow?" She asks and I stop walking down the driveway. "Ok-fine, whatever, I have to go." I say and get in my car and just drive.

-

I get to Jens apartment, and head up the elevator to her floor. I knock on the door, and not even 2 seconds later, I hear her footsteps coming to the door. She opens the door and her eyes go from my feet, all the way up to my eyes, just getting a good look at me.

She immediately smile wide with her teeth. Which makes me smile too. "Hi baby.." She says as if we're in some dramatic romcom drama, and we haven't seen eachother after not speaking for years. But it's comforting, just hearing her say that, how relieved she sounds to see me, it's comforting.

"Hi." I smile and she grabs my hand and pulls me in for a big hug. "Woah." I giggle and she just squeezes me tighter. "I've missed you." She says buried into my neck. "We saw eachother last week." I giggle.

"I know, but-still." She says. Then she finally pulls away and just looks at me. She fumbles with a strand of my hair as if she's just taking in my presence.

"How are you? Do you want anything to drink?" She asks walking over to the kitchen. "Um, no thanks, but I'm ok. What about you?" I ask and sit on the couch.

"Same here babe, just ok." She shrugs and comes over to the couch an sits beside me. "What's up?" I ask.

"Well, I-I decide to end things with Ben..." She says and looks at the ground.

Right as those words slip out of her mouth. I can feel my souls being brought up to heaven. This can't be true, somebody pinch me.

"Really?! Why?" I ask like I'm upset. "I just- I'm not into him, like that." She shrugs and I nod. "Oh I completely understand.." I shake my head and lean back on the couch.

"Oh do you?" She tilts her head in interest. "Mhm." I nod. "How?" She asks and pokes me. I giggle a little and shake my head. "Me and Kate, we're uh- not a thing...at the moment, I think." I try to explain.

"That kind of, almost made sense." She tilts her head and giggles. "She's too much, she wants too much, and I just can't be that much with her, when I don't feel the same way.." I say slowly. "Wait- you don't like her?" She asks and I nod.

"Well fuck.." She says and raises her brows. "Yepp." I nod.

"Hmm, interesting." She says still shocked and in thought. "I'm hungry, let's get food." I pat her thigh and stand up snapping her out of her thoughts. "Okayy." She says and stand up too.

We leave her apartment and walk down the side walk of the busy street to find a place to eat. We have some small talk, and Jen suddenly locks arms with me. I look at her, and she just keeps walking and looking around like she didn't do anything.

I smile and look back forward. Her finally with me again, is so comforting. Even though she's not actually with me, having her by my side I'm general make me happy. And there's nothing that can take that away right now.