Worthless Necessity [HitoZuku]

Chapter 142 - Than you'll ever know

Midoriya clenched his fist as he sat down by his desk; he had left Reiko and Ryuto outside, since they seemed comfortable in the electric blanket, and he didn't want to bother them. He had skipped lunch and dinner again, and he had gone back to his room to shower before he went back to the common room to wait out the agonizingly long night.

His entire body was trembling, as he pulled on a clean hoodie and a fresh pair of sweatpants; he felt a familiar urge run through his body, trickling through his veins. He was very familiar with that urge, feeling its presence everyday ever since he turned ten. Sometimes, he gave into it, knowing that there was no other escape, but he knew that it's power over him had been weakening ever since he had come under Nezu and UA's care.

Midoriya's hand trickled over to the knife in his pocket, and he gingerly fished it out, watching the glint of the light as he turned it around slowly, the familiar feeling of the handle of the knife fitting into the palm of his hand perfectly.

He knew that he shouldn't feed into the urge again. He had been trying so hard to avoid acting on it, he knew that he shouldn't do it, that it was bad, and he had promised Shinsou and Shuzenji that he wouldn't do it again.

But if they didn't know... it was okay... right?

Midoriya rolled up his sleeve, staring at the old scars that lingered on his arm, those rough, slightly elevator splotches of discolored skin that stood out prominently against his pale skin. His grip on the knife was firm, and he brought the knife downwards, right between his ulna and radius. He exhaled shakily, and took a sharp breath of air, before he took the blade out.

Just one more. It wouldn't hurt anyone.

Midoriya brought the blade down one more time, letting the knife slice through more flesh, before he closed his eyes, and dragged the blade out slowly. He looked at the bloodied knife, before he shifted his gaze to the bloodied mess he made on his table. The greenette just reached into his drawer, and pulled out a sewing kit, some duct tape, and a spare roll of toilet paper.

He hastily pressed some toilet paper to his arm, and proceeded to clean up the bloody mess before he flushed the toilet paper down the toilet, before he carefully threaded the string through the eye of the needle. He used another piece of toilet paper to wipe away excess blood, before he stabbed the needle into his arm, slowly, painstakingly stitching the sliced skin of his arm back together.

He bit onto the thread, keeping it tense as he tied a knot, before he used his teeth to tear the thread, and turned his arm around to stitch up the other side. Deeming his handiwork good enough, he washed his arm and needle in the sink, before he kept the needle, along with the rest of the sewing kit, back in the drawer.

Midoriya picked up the duct tape, and pulled some of it out. He used his teeth to rip it off, before he plastered it on his arm, over the stitches; there was still some blood coming out, and he didn't want to dirty his clothes, since that would tip his classmates off.

He ripped more tape off, and plastered it over the other side of his arm, before he washed his arm again, and pulled down his sleeve.

That's it. He's already fed the craving. He could go about his day and ignore it now.

Midoriya grabbed another thick book and yanked his door open. Their teachers had given them some homework, and even though it was due in two days, Midoriya wanted to finish it as soon as possible and get it out of the way. There was no reason to let his work pile up when he could use the remainder of his time to study or do research for Sasaki; according to the teachers, the students weren't allowed to go out for their work studies, but research was perfectly fine since the students could remain in the safety of the UA dorms.