RINA'S
***
The thing about being a nymphomaniac is that I can't tell anyone about this. Scratch that, I don't want to tell.
People tend to lean on their prejudice rather than assessing the whole scenario deeply. Kapag may nakaalam tungkol sa sakit kong ito... Hindi ako sigurado kung anong magiging reaksyon ng taong iyon.
Mandidiri? Siguro. Kaunti lang naman sa lipunan ang may bukas na pananaw tungkol sa sex at sa dinadanas ko.
"Are you going to your session today?" Iyon kaagad ang tanong ni Mama nang pumasok ako sa kusina.
Breakfast was already served. Kumakain na silang dalawa ni Melvin.
"It's Sunday. What do you expect me to do?" walang gana kong tugon sa kaniya.
I saw how her cheeks reddened by the manner I answered her. Kung wala siguro si Melvin sa tabi niya, baka sinigawan niya na naman ako.
Naupo ako sa katapat na upuan nilang dalawa at tahimik na kumuha ng pagkain. I settled for a piece of toast and coffee. Wala akong gana pero kailangan kong mag-agahan.
Hindi ako kumain kagabi at lately nahihirapan akong kumain. Isa ito sa mga nagagawa ng sakit ko sa utak.
When I'm too stressed or I have a lot going on in my mind, I tend to procastinate in everything I do- and that includes eating and sleeping.
Out of nowhere, nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Mama. Gone was the irritated expression she just had earlier upon seeing me. Napakalawak na ng ngiti niya habang kausap niya si Melvin.
Minsan naisip kong sabihin sa kanila ang tungkol sa pagiging nympho ko. But I chose not to.
Kapag sinabi kong isa akong nymphomaniac, sigurado akong tatawagin nila akong sex addict. Granted, I dwell on sex to clear and ease my chaotic mind. But if I can only help it, I will not do it. If I can turn my back from sex like what most normal people do, I will do it in a heartbeat.
Sadly, I'm a nymphomaniac and I don't want judgements- specially from my so-perfect and in-control mother.
I asked my doctor to tell her that I only suffer with OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which is half true since na-diagnose din ako ng mild OCD. Hindi pumayag ang doktor ko sa pakiusap na iyon dahil unang-una, minor pa ako no'n at pangalawa sinabi niya sa aking kailangan ko ang kalinga ng isang ina para malagpasan ang lahat ng ito.
But the truth is-my mother is one of my triggers. I never felt comfort from her like what a daughter should feel towards her mother. Instead, she confuses me and sometimes angers me.
Kaya matapos kong magmakaawa sa doktor ko, pumayag siya na itago sa nanay ko ang tungkol sa sakit ko. Pero humingi siya ng deal na kapag maayos na ako- sasabihin ko mismo sa aking nanay ang lahat.
BINABASA MO ANG
Insanely Insatiable
RomanceFICTITIOUS PSYCHOLOGY SERIES #2 R-18 | EROTIC ROMANCE ‼️ READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED ✓Nymphomaniac (n.) a woman with uncontrollable sexual desires. *** Sex is a pleasurable experience which symbolizes affection, desire and commitment in a relatio...