Insanely Insatiable

056

RINA'S

***

People leave because they wanted to. That's what I realized after I left the Philippines and lived on my own, far from the environment that sucked the light out of me.

I left because it's my choice and not because Sevi hurt me. I got the choice to stay and fix things between us but... I'm too suffocated by the pain to even choose the option of staying.

Sevi and his lies reminded me of the most painful thing I experienced in my life— to be betrayed by the people I trust. Sa isang katulad ko na ubos na ubos na, sobrang hirap ibigay ng tiwala. Sevi found me on the darkest part of my life and I became dependent on him to light me out of that darkness.

But he failed and that's when pain urged me to hate him and how life turned out bad when I thought it will be good.

I need to abandon the painful and struggling chapters of my life because I got nothing in me to survive another wave of it. Life didn't work out well the way I expected it to be when I trusted Sevi. That's why, my confused mind decided to leave the country and start a new life away from people who knows my story.

After seven years, I just realized that I didn't hate Sevi for lying. I was just hurt and my expectations weren't met. Sevi is no one to blame for my unsteady logic and thinking.

Kaya hindi na ako bumalik sa kaniya lalo na matapos ang mga nangyari sa amin ni Von. I'm bad for him and he's too good for me. He's the good person who entered the bad chapters of my life.

That's why, we ended up away from each other even though we love each other.

"Are you done thinking of your greatest regret?"

Napadilat ako nang marinig ko na ang boses ng instructor ko. I smiled at her and nodded my head.

"Yes. Until now, I regret it. But I think it's for the best," I answered and she gave me an encouraging smile.

Madam Aira's blonde hair makes her face looks younger than her actual age. Kahit medyo matanda na siya, maganda pa rin ang tindig niya at maayos pa rin ang pagkakatayo. No wonder, she became a prima ballerina and now owning a ballet school which is very successful in the big city of New York. And I'm glad I became part of this for almost four years now.

"This is a big opportunity, Rina. I'm giving the lead role to you because I think this is your time to shine in the field of ballet. Are you really going to let this go? Can you handle the regrets you may feel for turning your back to this opportunity?"

Napabuntong hininga ako sa sinabi ni Madam Aira. She's right. Having a lead role is a step closer to my dream to become a prima ballerina. Kahit twenty-nine na ako ngayon, pinanghawakan ko na aabot ako sa puntong maaabot ko rin ang pangarap kong maging prima ballerina and this opportunity suddenly offered to me.