𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙄'𝙢 𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚 || ᴅᴇᴀʟᴏʀ ✓

3 - Is this the real life?

Two weeks.

It has been two weeks since the kiss but me and John never discussed it. Ever. I don't know why, and I was too shy to ask him about it. After all, he was the one who confessed his feelings first so he should be the one to pursue the relationship, if ever he has any plans to have one with me.

Call me stubborn but I just don't want to embarrass myself when things go wrong.

But I just don't understand! We still hang out after our work at the studio and he kisses me on the cheeks whenever he drops me at my flat after our night outs, but never again on the lips. Are we like together now? Or am I just assuming that he liked me like that.

"You're gonna make me crazy, John!" I groaned frustratingly as my alarm went off and I got out of bed. We have rehearsals at the studio today as we have been booked to play at Imperial College on Friday.

I sighed as I thought of going to work and seeing John. I was so close to phoning him up and asking him about everything but I stopped myself as I don't want to hear what he has to say. If he's to reject me then it's better to just not know at all.

My brain kept overthinking and I was so lost in my train of thoughts as I picked out something to wear. I don't feel like dressing up today so I just wore black sweatpants with a plain white shirt. I saw myself in the mirror as I was exiting my bedroom and I look... miserable. I sighed and styled my hair a bit to look a little bit presentable then got my coat and walked out of my flat and to the studio.

When I arrived, I saw that everyone was already there and setting everything up. Brian was sat at the corner of the studio near the amplifiers and was tuning his guitar, Freddie had a cup of coffee in his hand and was seated in a chair in front of the mixers, and John... John was staring at me with a blank expression on his face, his bass on his hand.

I brushed it off and smiled at him instead but he just looked down and continued tuning his instrument. That hurt me a little bit but I just shrugged and sat at the chair next to Freddie. "Good morning Fred, are we ready?" and he just hummed and put his arm over my shoulders. "Could you take a look at this, please?" he said then slid a notebook in front of me as I read what was written on it.

Funny how love can break your heart so suddenly
Funny how love came tumbling down with Adam and Eve
Funny how love is running wild feeling free
Funny how love is coming home in time for tea
Funny funny funny oh

I wanted to smack my face as I read the words that were written. Is this some kind of a joke? Is this life's way of telling me that I will never have the love that I wanted? Should I just let the idea of being together with John go?

I felt my tears welling up as I looked up at the glass room in front of us and saw John bopping his head with headphones on his ears while he was playing some sort of random bass line. Probably his way of warming up before our rehearsals. I turned my head back to Freddie who was looking at the notebook too and tapped his shoulder. "It's good. I like it. Is this for a new song?" I smiled then held my head back, trying to keep the tears from falling to my cheeks.

"It is, yeah. I'm planning to put this in the new album, you know? Are you sure it's good, dear?" I made my smile bigger and rubbed his arm. "I'm sure. Don't worry about it. It will be as good as you've imagined it to be." And he let out a sigh of relief and stood up abruptly, which almost made me jump in surprise. "Alright, let's rehearse this so we can record this tomorrow, yeah?"

I nodded then went inside the glass room and sat behind my drum kit. John was positioned at the right side of my kit and looking at the papers in the music stand in front of him. I just sighed heavily and tried to focus on practicing the song before we record it.